


he dreamed he cared

by ohhihoney



Category: Avatar: The Last Airbender
Genre: Based on a Tumblr Post, Canon Compliant, Disability, Fluff, I Tried, I Will Go Down With This Ship, Light Angst, M/M, Zuko is an Awkward Turtleduck, Zuko's Left Eye Is Blind
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-10
Updated: 2020-09-10
Packaged: 2021-03-06 20:07:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 24,563
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26364649
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ohhihoney/pseuds/ohhihoney
Summary: Zuko's left eye was one of his greatest weaknesses, making him live in constant fear of someone sneaking up on him and after he left the Fire Nation to join the Avatar, he actually thought he was safe. They didn't know about it, he could finally stop living on edge.Or at least until Sokka, that clever and observant bastard, found out.Based onthis Tumblr post
Relationships: Sokka/Zuko (Avatar)
Comments: 47
Kudos: 826





	1. Chapter 1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello! I'm very nervous because at the moment I wrote this, it was the longest thing I've ever written. This chapter may be short but they will get longer as the story progresses.
> 
> If you check the tumblr post, you'll know that this fic is pretty much self explanatory and I'd like to let you know that english is not my first language, so if there is any mistake, you can always tell me and I'll try my best to fix it.
> 
> Without further ado, I hope you enjoy my fic!

It was slowly but surely driving him crazy. 

It had only been a couple of weeks since Sparky Sparky Boom Man, as Sokka called him, attacked them and only a couple of days after the meeting with the Sun Warriors and the dragons, and you could say, Zuko was still tired at best and very bruised at worst. Combustion Man must have known that one of Zuko's greatest weaknesses was that his left eye was blind, because he clearly took advantage of it and hit him where it hurt the most.

Zuko refused to ask for Katara's help, though. The group had only just stopped giving him distrustful looks, minus Toph of course, so he wouldn't risk annoying the waterbender asking her to heal some simple bruises, even if said bruises hurt at every step and breath he took.

Even after the attack and their return, the only ones keeping him company or at least not staying at a safe distance from him were Aang and Toph, both who at some point Zuko actually thought had lost their minds for trusting him but seconds later he realized that was good, it was actually the whole point of his crusade.

Aang seemed to genuinely trust him, especially after Zuko helped him, and Toph because she, Zuko learned, was able to tell if someone was lying through her earthbending and had deemed his claims as true. Neither of them seemed to mind sitting beside him at dinner, because Aang obviously insisted Zuko needed to be there even if Zuko said it wasn't actually necessary. Toph sometimes even looked like she enjoyed it, given that she teased Zuko and he had no idea how to respond. He sat there with a faint blush on his cheeks and a frown on his face, trying to figure out the line between a threat and a joke.

It was a normal night when it happened. Toph was seated at his right, Aang was seated beside Katara, right in front of Zuko and Sokka was nowhere to be found; there was no one on his left. 

That suddenly changed when Sokka showed up and abruptly sat down on the empty spot beside Zuko, way too close to him and talking way too loudly, and Zuko tried so hard not to flinch. He tried to remind himself that he was safe and no one was going to attack him but failed in every possible way, because, despite his effort, his soup splashed from his bowl as he flinched and burned a part of his hand. 

"Oh! " Sokka exclaimed as he saw the soup fly from the corner of his eye, the food in front of him was temporarily forgotten. "Dude, are you okay?"

"Yeah, I'm fine," Sokka must have not believed him because he kept staring at him with a deadpan look; it wasn't completely a lie, though, a small water burn didn't hurt that much so Zuko shrugged. "Seriously, I was distracted, the bowl just slipped."

Zuko didn't like to say he was distracted, or to lie to those he was trying to gain the trust of, but anything seemed like a better choice than to admit how hard his heart was pounding against his chest and how he almost shot fire at Sokka.

Sokka stared intensely at him a few more seconds, almost imperceptible. Anyone would've thought he was just making sure Zuko was okay, but Zuko, who was burning holes at the soup with his eyes, begged Agni the Water Tribe boy didn't realize another of his many weaknesses. 

For once, luck seemed to be on his side because Sokka simply shrugged and turned his focus back to his food. Zuko let out a breath he hadn’t realized he had been holding and momentarily closed his eyes in an effort to relax. If only he knew what was to be of the next few days.

⏳

For two nights in a row, nothing happened, mostly because Aang was seated at his left questioning him about firebending one night and talking about Momo the next, but the third night, Sokka just dropped himself beside the empty stop at Zuko’s left. Zuko had learned his lesson and now left his food on the ground when he wasn't eating but still he flinched and unintentionally glared at Sokka.

Sokka didn't actually say anything and Zuko let himself believe that he hadn't noticed, even when it was confirmed that his surprise actually had been noticeable when Toph asked him about it. He said some bullshit excuse, which he knew no one believed, Katara throwing him an especially dirty look and Aang looking at him with a little bit of pity. 

At the same time all of that had happened, Sokka was happily munching on some roasted vegetables so Zuko could only hope he didn't notice or at least didn't pay attention to it, even when deep inside of him, he knew Sokka was the smartest person in the group.

The next day something different happened: Sokka arrived earlier at dinner and sat down on his right even when there was also a spot on his left. Clearly Zuko saw him coming and quietly thanked Agni about it. He was way too on edge and was terribly fearful that, in being surprised, he would hurt Sokka.

After finishing Aang's training the next morning, he was left alone in one of biggest inner gardens of the Western Air Temple; he figured he liked that place the most, because despite no one being around to take care of it, the plants were wild and a shiny green to the point they devoured the gray, stone walls.There was a dry fountain in the middle of it that reminded him of the turtleduck pond back in the palace.

Zuko was about to start meditating when he heard Toph coming his way.

"Hey, Sparky!" 

Coincidence or not, Toph appeared from his left, but since he heard her coming, it didn't surprise him. What did surprise him was that, when he fully turned around, he saw Sokka behind her.

"I found a secret room leading to a tunnel, do you want to come and take a look around with us?" Toph asked.

Zuko hesitated. He was starting to trust Toph. If she wanted to hurt him, she could've done it long ago, and despite her annoying attitude, he liked her sassy remarks and admired her rebellious spirit.

But Sokka was an entirely different thing, especially when the Water Tribe boy had his arms crossed over his chest and was staring at him intensely. Sokka clearly didn't seem to fully trust him yet and, after what Zuko had called little 'incidents' the last few days, he would rather not take any chances. Besides, he'd only be bothersome. He cleared his dry throat and swallowed.

"I'm sorry, but I think I'll pass," Zuko sat down on the edge of the fountain and waited for them to leave.

"Well, I guess you will have to miss out," Toph replied. She turned around and kept talking as she walked away, "but when the bad guys get here and we have to run, you'll regret not knowing about our super secret hiding place."

Zuko would have smiled if it wasn't for the fact that Sokka hadn't said a single word the entire time, and when Toph walked away, Sokka followed her with the smallest smirk on his face.

Everything changed when that same night at dinner, Sokka arrived loudly, telling Katara about how he almost sprained his foot and rambling about what he called “the biggest caterpillar he has ever seen in his life!” He sat down at Zuko's left side and served himself some food as he continued, with Zuko not flinching at all. He had heard Sokka approaching.

A few minutes passed when Sokka said the words of what Zuko later thought were his downfall.

"Zuko, have you seen the salt?"

It was a bold move, because it implied that Katara's food lacked salt and you should never insult Katara's food, but Zuko looked for it anyway. He searched with his good eye around his right and front. When he didn't find anything, he turned his head and looked around his left. 

The salt was right behind Sokka, an odd place to leave the salt in the first place, he thought. Only after he delivered the small pouch to Sokka did he realize what he let Sokka confirm. The pressure Zuko had on his bowl was almost enough to break it, his heart quickening and his breathing becoming shallow.

Sokka hadn't made a single effort to look for the salt and only watched him do it. He saw how Zuko looked around and fully turned his head to look at his left, where the pouch was in the perfectly hidden in the place where it wouldn't look suspicious for Sokka to miss it and where Zuko would easily find it if only he turned his head, as if couldn't see with his left eye.

He felt Sokka's intense gaze as he looked at his soup bowl. Zuko knew the boy wasn't stupid, Sokka most definitely knew now.

Zuko knew he shouldn't feel like this. It was irrational, but he couldn't help it. At this point it had become a basic instinct that could only be compared to breathing or eating. He knew that if these people wanted to hurt him, they would've done a while ago, but there was nothing he could do to controll his stupid feelings. 

He didn't want to admit it and he hadn't realized how long it had been since the last time he felt like this, a long time being just a couple days. Zuko, in fact, hated deeply to admit it, but he was no fool and it was the absolute truth.

He was scared. 


	2. Chapter 2

He tried to avoid Sokka as much as he possibly could but, again, he failed completely. The boy now seemed to love Zuko's left side and Zuko wanted to scream at him to just move and stop putting him on edge.

It made him uneasy. Even if Sokka announced himself before sitting or standing at his left, it just made his palms sweat and his instincts kick in. He thought that Sokka would attack him at any moment or would tell everyone else about his weakness. 

One night where Zuko just couldn't sit still and decided to serve everyone tea, he noticed that Sokka was uncharacteristically quiet, looking with unreadable eyes at the fire in front of him. 

"Hey, can I talk to you for a second?" He asked.

Zuko froze, that was it, that was the end of his way. Sokka was fed up with him hiding things and lying, so he was going to ask him about it and when Zuko had no other choice than to confess or to keep lying, Sokka was going to kick his ass out of there. 

He didn't get the chance to say no because Sokka got up and walked away, clearly expecting Zuko to follow him; he swallowed, and after ignoring Katara's suspicious look, he followed Sokka.

Zuko breathed in and tried to play it cool. Maybe the situation could still be saved.

"So, what's up?" He cringed inside, was that really the best he could do?

"If someone was captured by the Fire Nation, where would they be taken?" Sokka asked in a deceivingly casual tone, but his body was tense.

That threw Zuko of balance, what could Sokka possibly gain asking that? Then a thought crossed Zuko's mind and he realized the matter at hand probably had nothing to do with him.

"What do you mean? Who was captured?"

The night was dark and Zuko could barely see Sokka cross his arms over his chest, but despite that he could still see through the casual and chatty facade, he could see the way he tried to hide what he was truly feeling but if Zuko had learned something throughout these past few days it was that Sokka was not good at hiding his emotions.

"When the invasion plan failed, some of our troops were taken. I just want to know where they might be."

"I can't tell you," Zuko clenched his hands into fists. He didn’t know what this was about but it seemed serious and he didn’t want Sokka to be let down.

"What? Why not?" 

"Trust me. Knowing it will just make you feel worse." Zuko didn't mean to sound like that, like he still had some loyalty to the Fire Nation and was protecting it's secrets; even if he didn't know Sokka all that well yet, he was just trying to save him some pain. Zuko didn't want to keep lying and thought he could at least not say anything.

He turned around to leave but hadn't given a single step when a hand fell on his left shoulder.

"It's my dad. He was captured too." Sokka said and the hand that touched him left as soon as it came. "I need to know what I put him through."

He sounded sad, a high contrast with the upbeat attitude he always had. Zuko didn't turn around though, looking him in the eye would probably do nothing to rid him of the heavy feeling in his chest.

"It's not good, Sokka." _ It's for the best, just let it go. _

"Please." 

There was something in his voice, a vulnerability that reminded Zuko the children they actually were. He sighed and turned around.

"My guess is, they were taken to the Boiling Rock." Oh, Agni, he was so going to regret this.

"What's that?" Something shifted in the Water Tribe boy's deep blue eyes.

"The highest security prison in the Fire Nation," Zuko kept talking despite the horrified expression on Sokka's face. "It's on an island in the middle of the boiling lake, it's inescapable."

Now it was Sokka's turn to turn away. "So, where is this place?"

Fine, Zuko might be hiding things from everyone and actively doing so from Sokka but this conversation was weird, beyond any rambling he has heard ever since he joined the group. Zuko quickly tried to think about all of the reasons Sokka could have behind the weird questions and a chill ran through his spine when he crashed against the only possibility.

"Why do you need to know? What are you planning?" He hurried.

"Nothing."

The same way Zuko knew about the fact Sokka knew about his blind eye, Zuko knew that Sokka was absolutely aware he sounded fake, but Zuko wouldn't ask about other people's business.

"Boy, you're so paranoid."

"It's in the middle of a volcano between here and the Fire Nation. You guys actually flew right past it on the way here," Zuko was also aware that what he said wasn't the best choice but Sokka needed to know that the Boiling Rock was no joke and if he was planning on going, like Zuko knew he was, he needed to know that he would face a ton of danger.

"Thanks, Zuko," Sokka let out a yawn as he walked away from him. "Just knowing makes me feel better."

"Yeah, I'm sure it does," Zuko quipped.

As Zuko followed him, he briefly wondered if Sokka actually had an on and off switch for his intelligence or if he just didn't care.

⏳

It's not like Zuko was used to not sleeping but he decided that waiting for Sokka to make a move was the best and smartest choice, so he sat on Appa and waited.

He didn't have to wait long though because around midnight, Sokka started climbing on the flying bison, shushing it as he went.

"Not up to anything, huh?"

Sokka fell right back onto the ground from the shock.

It was fine if he didn't trust Zuko yet but if he believed that Zuko was going to sit down and watch as he infiltrated a high security prison alone, then he was a complete fool and Zuko admitted to himself he was a fool as well. Wasn't he up to do the exact same thing? 

Every nerve on his body screamed at him that this could be one of the top five most stupid things he had done in his short life but letting Sokka go alone didn't sit right with him, it went against his newfound values to let a friend face danger alone. Friend? Was he that thing? Could he call Sokka his friend?

"Fine, you caught me. I'm gonna rescue my dad. You happy now?" Sokka said as he got up and picked up his stuff.

Zuko huffed, “I’m never happy”

"Look, I  _ have _ to do this. The invasion plan was  _ my _ idea, it was  _ my _ decision to stay when things were going wrong. It's  _ my _ mistake, and it's  _ my _ job to fix it."

Zuko jumped down from Appa and sighed. He wanted to slap Sokka in the face and tell him that no, it wasn't his fault, he had just been outsmarted by Azula, which honestly happened to everyone at least once in their lives. 

"I have to regain my honor. You can't stop me, Zuko."

Alright, now he wanted to scream at Sokka telling him that an honor seeking quest was not worth losing his life over; he didn't though, because he knew how that felt. 

Zuko knew how it was to feel like honor was everything you needed. The stubborn glint in Sokka's eyes told him that if they hadn't met on opposite sides of the battlefield, he might have been the person that understood him the most.

"You want to regain your honor? Believe, I get it," he said as Sokka climbed back on Appa, "I'm going with you."

"No! I have to do this alone,"  _ stubborn little piece of... _

"How are you going to get there? On Appa?" Zuko thought some sense should be talked into Sokka, so he, at least, lasted an hour alive at the prison. "Last time I checked, prisons don't have bison daycares."

He saw Sokka's shoulders sag and then sigh.

"We'll take my war balloon," Zuko turned around and walked away, only relaxing after he heard Sokka hop down from Appa and his light steps following him.

⏳

To say it was awkward was an understatement, Zuko kept himself busy fueling the fire and Sokka stared at the white clouds above them but something must have broken him because after around ten minutes, he started talking.

"Pretty clouds," he commented.

"Yeah, fluffy."  _ Great job, Zuko, you have minus three points in social skills. _

Ten minutes after that, Sokka started whistling. It didn't annoy Zuko, per se, but he thought it would be really nice if he stopped. Finally, after a few more tries of awkward exchanges, you could say they managed to hold a conversation. It was nice after a couple of hours of silence but it brought neither of them any good.

Zuko didn't mean to, but he got defensive after Sokka added his comment about his dad and his skill at war, that it seemed to run in the family. Zuko felt confused again when Sokka said he knew that Zuko had changed, he still wasn't able to tell the line between sarcasm and truth yet.

He was thinking about Uncle Iroh when he said that not all of his family was like that. Zuko thought it was almost funny that in some dark twist of the universe, his family's legacy was still chasing him even after promising to himself that he would never go back and would never be like them

"He was more of a father to me and I really let him down."

Finally. Zuko said something true about how he was feeling, not the best thing certainly, but he was most likely going to be dead in a couple of hours and wanted Sokka to trust him before that happened, saying something like that seemed like a good first step.

He felt the hair at the nape of his neck stand up when Sokka looked at him a few more seconds than necessary, his deep blue eyes filled with Zuko couldn't identify, something between sadness and understanding.

"I think he would be proud of you," he said. "Leaving your home to come help us? That's hard."

Zuko felt a weight fall from his shoulders, a weight he had been carrying for too many years, and briefly closed his eyes. "It wasn't that hard."

He stared at the fire, it's funny how after all of this time trying to capture the Avatar to return to the Fire Nation, for the Fire Nation, everyone there thought he was a traitor now. He kind of was though, he reminded himself.

Zuko dropped everything in a quest to do the right thing, it just didn't occur to him that the right thing to do would be so hard to accomplish. He resisted the urge to step back and sit down on the floor of the war balloon, then he sighed. 

He was tired.

Beyond that tiredness he felt after a battle, it was something rooted deep in his bones and that tightened his chest every time he got ready for a fight. The irony of the entire situation baffled him, actually. He didn't want to fight anyone anymore and he was about to break into a Fire Nation prison to break out the Chief of the Southern Water Tribe.

Sokka seemed to notice his specially dark mood and offered him a fruit from his bag, Zuko looked at him. Sokka’s arm was extended to him and his gaze was sincere, and unexpectedly, kind. Alright, he could enjoy some fruit in the last hours of his life.

⏳

At sunset, it actually hit him, when Sokka asked what was the plan, that they might actually die.

"What do you mean you have no plan?" Zuko was fuming, figuratively, of course.

Sokka frantically waved his hands, "Well, what did you expect? I've never been there before!"

"But you're always supposed to have a plan, you're the Man with a Plan!"

"Well, I'm sorry for being too busy trying to control how scared I am at the actual possibility of dying and never seeing my sister again!"

Zuko immediately closed his mouth and stared back at Sokka, who looked angry, yes, but most importantly, he looked scared. Zuko knew he should've stopped there but he had to say something. He couldn't just stay quiet so he said the first thing that crossed his mind.

"You're so dumb."

"Oh, excuse me!" All fear seemed to have left Sokka, "You seem to forget that I help invent the very same balloon we’re in!"

"Well, then you're still a dumbass because this is a suicide mission!" Zuko threw his hands in the air in frustration. 

Sokka looked at him from head to toe with incredulous eyes and then let out a loud laugh. "So you're trying to tell me that you've never been on a suicide and useless mission before?"

Zuko wasn't going to lie about this, that hurt and it showed on his face, because it pretty much summarized the last years of his life. Not even his fingers and his toes were enough to count the number of suicide, useless, and failed missions in his life and he was aware of it. He had way too many nightmares to remind him of it.

Sokka seemed to know about this too, given that a guilty expression sat on his face right after he finished speaking. Despite that he crossed his arms over his chest and looked at Zuko in the eye, clearly expecting to argue back.

Zuko didn't though, he turned around in complete silence and looked in the direction they were heading. He could feel Sokka's eyes burning holes through him. Then he listened to how Sokka stomped to the opposite side of the war balloon and sat down.

The only sound that was heard throughout the next hour was the mechanism of their ship and the cold breeze whipping past them. It was already dark when Zuko finally saw the Boiling Rock island, a black and lonely piece of land in the middle of a lake, white steam going up to mix with the dark clouds in the sky.

"There it is!"

Sokka rushed to his side while rubbing his eyes, had he truly been sleeping? Despite the tiny flame of anger in his chest, Zuko let it go. Now it wasn't the time.

"There's plenty of steam to keep us covered. As long as we're quiet, we should be able to navigate through it without being caught."

He started to fuel the fire again. They needed height to go across the small mountains surrounding the prison. The balloon moved forward until they reached the steam, a white fog cloaking everything below and behind them.

Their good luck seemed to quickly run dry because the war balloon suddenly shook and quickly started to descend.

"We're going down!" Zuko frantically tried to make the fire bigger. "The balloon's not working anymore!"

"The air outside is just as hot as the air inside so we can't fly! " Sokka reasoned.

Zuko sent one last flame before the balloon tilted dangerously, making him fall straight into the floor.

"So what are we supposed to do?" Zuko held onto the wall. The temperature was going up quickly and their ship was going down twice as fast.

"I don't know. Crash-landing?"

The balloon soon touched the water and Sokka held in a scream when drops splashed on his skin. They had to get out there, if not they were easily going to be boiled. The weight and force of the war balloon seemed to be just enough because it abruptly crashed against a piece of land and sent them out flying into the ground.

The ground of the island was also rather hot and the humid air made it hard to breath. After a few minutes catching their breath, they looked at the pieces of what moments ago had been a perfectly functional war balloon.

"How are we going to get off the island if the balloon won't work?" Yes, Zuko knew about the dangers of coming but he still clinged onto some hope they might get out alive but without a way out, their chances were near zero.

"We'll figure something out." Sokka said and then he sighed. "I suspected it might be a one-way ticket."

"You knew this would happen and you wanted to come anyway?" Zuko realized that what he said was unnecessary but he was angry, Sokka's heated words still echoing in his head. How come someone so smart could do something so stupid?

"My dad might be here, I had to come and see."

"Uncle said I never thought things through, but this? This is just crazy!"

"Hey, I never wanted you to come along in the first place!" Sokka was clearly annoyed, with the way his eyebrows furrowed and harshly handed the broken pieces of the war balloon. "And for the record, I _ always _ think things through! But my plans haven't exactly worked, so this time, I'm playing it by ear. So there."

The anger in Sokka's blue eyes was piercing. When he touched the war balloon to push it, he quickly withdrew his hands with a groan, then he kicked the war balloon so hard he almost tripped.

Zuko was about to pull his hair out as he saw his balloon sink into the boiling water. "What are you doing?" 

"It doesn't work anyway, and we don't want anyone to find it." Sokka finally seemed to have let go of his anger, now only looking at the sinking balloon with frustration.

"I hope you know what you're doing." Zuko said as they turned around and faced the looming dark building. "There's no turning back now."

Sokka deeply sighed and let his head fall between his shoulders, then he took a few steps back and sat down on the ground facing the water. Zuko saw how his eyes traced the clouds above them, now that light was slowly starting to fill the sky.

Zuko looked at his feet for a few seconds, deliberating, before deciding to follow Sokka and sit at his right.

Oh, Agni, they were doomed.

They stayed like that for a few more minutes, watching the sun slowly rise and feeling the air heat up their skin until Sokka sharply inhaled and left Zuko speechless with his words.

"I'm sorry."

Zuko gaped at him, wondering if he heard Sokka correctly. Sokka still hadn't looked at him.

"I'm sorry for what I said earlier in the balloon." Something in his voice made Zuko's chest tighten and, yes, what Sokka said hadn't been nice, but it was the truth. The truth was rarely nice.

"Oh, no, don't... don't worry about that, it — "

"Don't you dare say it's fine because it was not, I crossed a line and I'm sorry about it. I was mad, I didn't mean it." Sokka was finally looking at him and true regret swimmed in his eyes. 

"I'm sorry too. I was mad as well, I shouldn't have insulted you. You're not dumb, you're actually really smart." Zuko felt a slight blush crawl up his cheeks, he stared at his hands on his lap. Then, he heard Sokka huff out a laugh.

"Yeah, right. A smart person would totally break into a Fire Nation prison with no plan at all and still hope to get out alive; very smart, indeed." He paused and started to draw mindless patterns on the ground. "I'm sorry I dragged you into this, it's my father we came for and you're the only one who can teach Aang firebending. I just gave you a death sentence."

Sokka grabbed a handful of dirt and threw it harshly towards the water, his voice sounded strained. It was still too dark to tell if his eyes were actually glistening or if they were just reflecting the water.

Zuko couldn't take it. The smartest person he knew, right behind Azula, believed himself to be dumb; the person that, despite not being a bender, had a insane amount of courage, and the person that understood perfectly how regret felt after failing. That was not going to happen on his watch.

"You didn't give me a death sentence," he was determined to stare at Sokka until he looked him back, "and don't you ever apologize for accepting help, especially if it's to save someone you care about."

He stood up and Sokka's stare followed him, he looked so defeated but his beautiful blue eyes held confusion in them.

"Your father might actually be here and we can still find a way out. You're a genius, Sokka, and we both know you can think of something. If there's anything I've learned about you since the first time we met is that you're possibly the most stubborn person I know and that means you don't give up that if there's still a chance," he extended his hand to Sokka, at which the boy stared for a few seconds; Zuko's heartbeat quickened. "Besides," Sokka finally locked eyes with him, "if we're truly doomed to failure, the least we can do is try."

Sokka took in a deep breath. Then he reached out and firmly grasped Zuko’s hand.

⏳

Surrounded by Fire Nation guards and dressed in red, itchy uniforms, they easily blended in the crowd in the courtyard, where some kind of fight was taking place. Everything had run surprisingly smooth, inside the possibilities of course, even when the guard questioning the prisoner in the middle of the place talked to them.

Well, until said guard ordered Sokka to help him. After watching him walk away, Zuko suddenly felt very unprotected, his heart raced and anxiousness started to flood his veins. His eyebrows furrowed in confusion, why did he feel like this out of nowhere?

As he asked around about what happened to war prisoners, it clicked inside of him: he missed Sokka at his left side. Zuko's partial blindness, plus the annoying helmet he had on, only made him feel unsafe. When did he even stop feeling weary about Sokka on his left and instead got used to it, to the point of wanting his loud presence beside him? 

An hour passed faster than he expected and as he stood at Sokka's right in one of the balconies in a guarding tower, Zuko felt the small pressure in his chest lessen a bit. But he couldn't relax, he still had to tell the boy about the fact that no Water Tribe prisoners were kept here.

"I'm afraid your father's not here."

The shock on Sokka's face made him want to lie, tell him that yes, his father was there. But it was impossible to do that.

"What? Are you sure, did you double check?"

"Yeah, I’m sure," Zuko answered in a low voice.

Sokka grabbed his head between his hands and then hit the metal wall behind him. "No, no!" 

"I'm really sorry, Sokka," Zuko didn't know exactly what to say but he felt the need to comfort him. No one deserved to fail in a suicide mission purely based on hope and determination.

"So we came all of this way for nothing?" Zuko wanted to remind Sokka that they shouldn't yell but that seemed like the last thing he needed. "I failed... again."

Zuko tried to think about what Uncle Iroh would say and tried his best to comfort Sokka. He started rambling about clouds and a silver sandwich, hoping it helped and it seemed to work when Sokka suddenly stood up with bright and hopeful eyes.

"Maybe we haven't failed after all!" Sokka held onto the railing of the balcony and looked down at the courtyard. 

Zuko looked at him in surprise. "That's the spirit! I can't believe that worked, I didn't even know what I was saying."

"No, what you said made no sense at all but look!" He pointed at someone in the courtyard. "It's Suki!"

⏳

The plan to meet Suki and tell her they were busting her out was quickly and roughly put together. It had many possible flaws but Zuko didn't have the heart to tell Sokka when he looked that excited, especially after the news of his dad.

Zuko was guarding the entrance of the cell when a real guard showed up, asking to get in. After not believing Zuko's terrible excuse of the prisoner possibly attacking her, she tried to push him aside. But Zuko was faster, he grabbed her arm and pushed her against the wall. 

He heard Sokka getting out of the cell. Zuko pushed the guard harder and thought about knocking her out, but at that moment, she screamed.

"Guard, help! I think he's an imposter! Arrest him!"

Sokka froze and threw him a panicked look but before the guard could draw any more conclusions, Zuko looked at Sokka and gave him a short, single nod.

⏳

A couple of hours later that night, when the sun was about to come up, Sokka knocked softly on the door of his cell. Zuko, now dressed in a red prisoner uniform, got up from the ground and walked to the cell door.

Sokka looked guilty when he saw him, and a little bit surprised as well. Zuko knew why, he hadn't closed his eyes the entire night, he probably looked horrible.

"Hey," Sokka started.

"Hey."

Sokka looked lost for a couple more seconds, until he seemed to remember why he was here and reached into his pocket. He passed Zuko a fresh fruit through the small window in the door. 

"I remembered you kind of skipped dinner last night, and I'm not sure they'll bring you breakfast. I'm sorry it's not more."

Zuko resisted the urge to tell him not to apologize. He stared dumbly at the fruit and then at Sokka, Zuko was truly speechless. In the Fire Nation no one treated prisoners kindly, he had seen how guards limited themselves to do the bare minimum to keep the prisoners alive. If it wasn't for him, his uncle would've probably received that exact same poor treatment, worse even.

It never occurred to him that someone would be kind enough to do what Sokka just did. Yes, they usually had dinner together and spared one or twice with their swords, but Zuko still was Aang's firebending teacher, his place in the group was merely an alliance for the greater good... right?

Then why did Sokka seem to care for him? Did he truly mean it or it was all a facade to betray him in the future? 

Zuko shook his head, a headache starting above the bridge of his nose. Why did he have to think like that? He wondered, Sokka had been nothing but kind to him lately. Not necessarily trusting him but never giving him mean looks. Why did Zuko have to think so negatively about everything around him? Was it actually his family's fault or was it his own?

Sokka seemed to notice his struggle because he cleared his throat and opened his mouth. "It's fine if you don't like it. I think they're starting to make breakfast in the kitchen, I can smuggle you something else if you — " 

"No, it's..." Zuko took a deep breath and looked at Sokka's bright eyes, "it's fine, I actually like this one. Thank you."

Then Sokka did what he always did, but being so close, Zuko could've sworn it could be his first time truly seeing it. Sokka smiled, a big, toothy grin lit up his face. Zuko thought that if he wore Fire Nation colors and not the ugly guard uniform, he'd easily be a heartbreaker in the capital.

"Oh!" Sokka's breath staggered but he picked himself right up, "You’re welcome."

They didn't say anything for a few moments, their eyes locked as if they were at the beautiful garden in the Air Temple, not a dirty and dark Fire Nation prison cell. The entire illusion shattered when they heard heavy steps coming their way. Sokka looked at the door and then back at him, he let out an airy laugh.

"Okay, I'll try to bring you something at lunch. See you later!" 

That was the last thing Zuko heard before Sokka almost blew up his ears, loudly kicking the door and then shouting something along the lines of 'You, traitor scum!'. He wasn't able to see when Sokka left but when Zuko saw Sokka's shadow disappear, he let a tiny smile spread across his face.

⏳

The light suddenly shined across Zuko's face when the door of his cell opened again a few hours later. A properly dressed man in red showed up, with his features hardened by time, and Zuko's heart clenched when the man said to be the Warden and Mai's uncle.

A pang shot through his chest. Agni, as if he needed another reminder of everything he left behind and everyone he hurt along the way.

Zuko knew a threat when he heard one, his entire life practically had revolved around them. So he played the role of the arrogant and traitorous prince the Warden thought him to be.

Later, at mopping duty, he realized that Suki actually remembered him. If it wasn't for the strict rules in the place, she probably would've knocked him out with her mop without a second of thought if the looks she was giving him were anything to go by. He whispered an honest apology and they managed to make a truce by the time Sokka arrived, excitement and nervousness bubbling inside Zuko when Sokka announced he had a plan.

Zuko was amazed once again when Sokka told them that the coolers could perfectly be used as boats to go through the boiling water. A brilliant idea. He was also amazed when, despite the look of utter defeat the day before, Sokka's deep blue eyes now had a special glow, a newfound determination in them that made Zuko smile. He liked this genius version of Sokka.

His heart almost burst out of his chest when the prisoner they helped sent into a cooler the first day showed up, saying he wanted in. Like Zuko, Sokka and Suki could perfectly recognize a threat so they had no choice but to agree.

And so they put their plan in motion.


	3. Chapter 3

It was very annoying to be in the cooler, to say the least, and Zuko would probably be shivering right now but Uncle Iroh taught him well, so while he tried to control his breathing as best he could, he unscrewed every nail inside the narrow, metal room.

There wasn't any window or way to tell the time but soon after Zuko was locked in, Sokka showed up portraying a perfectly arrogant guard making him chuckle. Then, Zuko froze for a split second and shoved Sokka with him inside the cooler, steps could be heard coming in their direction.

"Yeah, new arrivals coming at dawn,” a guard said.

"Anybody interesting?"

"Nah, just the usual," Sokka's shoulders tensed. "Some robbers, couple of traitors, some war prisoners."

Sokka looked at Zuko with wide eyes.

"War prisoners," Zuko was aware that it was not a good idea to let Sokka hesitate about escaping but there was a possibility their original mission hadn't failed yet. “It could be your father."

"I know."

"Well, what should we do?" Zuko asked. "Are we going ahead with the plan or are we waiting another night?"

"I don't know. Is it right for me to risk Suki's freedom, all of our freedom, on the slim chance that my dad is gonna show up?" Sokka's voice sounded strained and desperate.

"It's your call, Sokka."

Zuko saw him shut his eyes tightly and then sigh, a sigh that contained way more than what Sokka let himself show.

⏳

Escaping a prison seemed a lot easier said than done, especially with more people on board than originally planned. It was dark around the shore but they still had to avoid many guards inside the prison, which made them arrive a little later than planned.

Chit Sang and the others were already getting into the cooler when Sokka moved a stone on the ground, where he had hid his blue clothes and his sword. He stared at them for a few more seconds than necessary and his expression was determined but Zuko knew perfectly how to read him.

"Are you sure you wanna go? You're the one who said you wanted to redeem yourself, redeem your honor." He tried to say in a light tone, trying to make a joke but it clearly didn't work because Sokka's face turned dark as he secured his sword on his back. Zuko realized this was serious, and something too heavy sat on his chest seeing Sokka so emotionless, doing his best to hide what he truly felt behind a tight jaw and clenched fists; Zuko tried a different approach. "Rescuing your dad is your chance."

He meant what he said and silently decided that if Sokka wanted to say, he would too. It was the least he could after putting him through so much trouble. Suki also seemed to notice Sokka's slightly shaking hands.

"Your dad?" She asked. Zuko was surprised, hadn't Sokka told her about the original plan? The Water Tribe boy finally looked up at them.

"If I had just cut my losses at the invasion, maybe we wouldn't be in this mess," his angry voice didn't manage to last one sentence. "Maybe sometimes it's just better to call it quits before you fail."

"No, it's not."

Zuko had learned that anger and resentment weren't the right path and only very recently, tried to push his emotions towards a friendly space but this was beyond what he could manage; anger was bubbling inside of him.

"Look, Sokka, you're going to fail a lot before things work out."

"That's supposed to make me feel better?" Sokka got up and walked to the cooler.

Zuko continued. "Even though you'll probably fail over and over and over again..."

"Seriously, not helping."

"You have to try every time," he put his hand on Sokka's shoulder. "You can't quit because you're afraid you might fail."

"Hey, if you two are done cuddling, can we get a move on?"

Zuko glared deeply at Chit Sang and squeezed Sokka's shoulder and after a moment which seemed to last forever, he saw Sokka abruptly breath in and fierceness fill his eyes.

"No, I'm staying," he turned around and faced Zuko and Suki. "You guys go, you've been here long enough."

"I'm not leaving without you, Sokka," Suki replied.

Zuko has heard Sokka talk about Suki and Aang told him once that they liked each other but now he saw them, it was hard to believe. He may not know a lot about relationships but Zuko thought Sokka and Suki treated each other more like brothers than a couple, they seemed to have a bond over friendship deeper than one over a love relationship.

"I'm staying too," Zuko said.

They watched Chit Sang and the others leave the shore, the cooler swimming away in the current in the steaming water.

Sokka let out a sigh, "We gave up our only chance of escaping, I hope we haven't just made a huge mistake."

⏳

As they climbed the dark rocks to return into the prison, they realized that not leaving was probably a very big mistake because suddenly the loud sound of bells ringed in their ears. Some orange flames could be seen above their heads, guards were barking orders to the prisoners.

"The plan failed! They're caught," Sokka exclaimed.

With fast steps and their hearts in their hands, they kept walking along the wall of the building, praying that no one would see them. Soon they reached one of the many loose edges of the prison, one that had a perfect view of the gondola's arriving platform.

"The gondola's moving," Sokka said and Zuko wished the gondola just did it faster, anything that could end Sokka's fearful and painful expectating look. "This is it, if my dad's not there, we risked everything for nothing."

After clearly understanding that Sokka's father didn't have a nose ring, Zuko started to actually pray. Sokka's father had to be there, if not, they would have to stay a lot longer in the island and the longer they stayed, the more danger they were in. When more and more men walked out the gondola with no sign of Sokka's father, Zuko started to think about what he would do if the Warden actually delivered him to Ozai; a chill ran down his spine, that couldn't happen. He would rather rot in a cell for the rest of his life.

"Where is he?"

The bells had stopped ringing and the only sound were their loud breaths. No more men walked out of the gondola.

"That's it? That can't be it," Sokka's shattered hope could almost be held physically.

"Hey, you!" They immediately looked up, Zuko's heart skipped a beat. "Get off the gondola!"

Sokka stopped breathing when a man slowly set foot on the metal platform. When he was able to see the man's face, Zuko realized Sokka's eyes were glistening.

"Dad."

⏳

The next time Zuko saw Sokka, he was beaming with excitement. Zuko guessed it was most likely due having found his dad but a part of Zuko believed it was for the new plan Sokka came to announce. 

Zuko was worried about the plan, to say the least, it was way crazier than the previous one. Start a prison riot, take the Warden as a hostage and escape in the gondola? That was a madman's plan, it involved a ridiculously big amount of luck but if it worked Sokka would definitely outsmart himself.

A ray of hope birthed inside Zuko, despite his effort to crush it but after a while he let himself dream. If he stayed there, the Warden sooner or later would deliver him back into the Fire Nation, to Ozai and Sokka, Suki and Hakoda's lives would be lost. On the flip side, if they managed to escape, Zuko would of course continue to live and could keep teaching Aang firebending and the airbender would pretty much try to save the world.

Right after Sokka finished explaining his plan and fake beating Zuko, the guards outside his cell entered and grabbed his arms to take him away. Zuko kicked and fought, this was definitely not part of Sokka's idea, but soon stopped when he realized it was useless; it's not like he had a place to run to.

The guards roughly threw him into another dark room, this one with a single wood chair in the middle of it and barely any fresh air inside.

"I didn't do anything wrong!" Zuko yelled at the guards only to be interrupted by a monotonous voice.

"Come on, Zuko, we all know that's a lie."

Mai.

Zuko grimaced when he heard all of the things she said, every single one of them true. He shouldn't have left only a letter, but what else could he have done? Face yet again someone who cared about him and tell them he was leaving? 

" _ Dear, Mai _ ," she read, " _ I'm sorry you have to find out this way but I'm leaving _ ."

"Stop!" Fine, Zuko did leave but there were more important things to do. "This isn't about you, this is about the Fire Nation."

"Thanks, Zuko, that makes me feel all better," she threw the letter at Zuko's head, then he sighed.

"Mai, I never wanted to hurt you," and it was true, he never had that intention. Zuko cared about Mai but didn't really love her the way everyone wanted, they were childhood friends and nothing ever truly worked between them and yet she seemed to at least care about him too. Zuko would never hurt her on purpose, "but I have to do this to save my country."

"Save it? You're betraying your country!"

"That's not how I see it."

He was quite surprised when he realized how furrowed Mai's eyebrows were and how tense her body was, Zuko stared at the ground as he breathed in.

"I'm sorry, Mai."

"And for what, leaving a perfect life behind?"

"You and I know that there was no life for me there." 

She stared at him, the fire in her eyes turned into smoking ashes. Then she uncrossed her arms and slowly moved her head from side to side.

"Good luck in prison, Zuko." She turned to the door of the cell right when a guard showed up.

"Ma'am, there's a riot going on. I'm here to protect you!”

Zuko's breath got caught in his throat, Sokka's plan must be working. If he listened closely, shouts could be heard in the courtyard, he had to hurry.

"I don't need any protection," Mai's voice was clearly angry at the interruption and at the fact the guard implied she was defenseless, Zuko let a tiny smile spread across his face. That was the Mai he knew.

He tried to enjoy a second of peace before throwing a flame near the guard, who quickly moved and covered Mai with his body. Zuko hurried off and closed the door of the cell, Mai's sharp and glistening eyes visible through the small window.

Then, he ran.

⏳

It was an absolute chaos outside, compared to the small fight on his first day here. Prisoners everywhere were fighting and guards were whipping fire at them but they were vastly outnumbered, clearly not ready for everyone to come out at an unexpected hour and fight. A sweat started to drip down Zuko's back, the heat from the place escalating by the minute, he needed to find Sokka  _ now _ .

His heart was about to come out of his chest when he was pushed from his left, the instinct to flip the person over his shoulder took over. He let out a sigh of relief when he reached Sokka's side.

"Zuko? Good, we're all here, now all we need is to grab the Warden and get to the gondola," he said.

"And how do we do that?"

"I'm not sure," Sokka slowly answered with a guilty expression.

Zuko groaned, "I thought you thought this through!"

"I thought you told me not to think everything through!"

"Maybe not everything but this is kind of important!" Zuko facepalmed himself.

They stopped when Chit Sang called them and pointed at Suki, Zuko's eyes suddenly widened.

The Kyoshi Warrior was pretty much flying through the crowd, quickly stepping over the heads and shoulders of guards and prisoners. Then, as agile as a panther, she grabbed onto the wall and climbed until she flipped into one of the balconies.

Sokka didn't seem to remember how to breathe as they saw her take down guard after guard. They ran as fast their feet allowed them but by the time they got to the balcony, Suki already had the Warden tied and gagged.

They ran up to the top of the building, Suki easily taking down everyone on their way. Surprise filled Zuko when they made it to the platform, which was completely deserted except for a few firebenders guarding the gondola.

The guards took an offensive stance, Zuko rushed and pushed Sokka off the front of the group to the side, then quickly deflected the fire and spoke in a loud, commanding voice.

"Back off, we've got the Warden."

The guards exchanged doubtful looks between and then parted away, quick steps on the metal floor resonated in the air as the runaway group hurried to the gondola, Zuko attentively watching their back. 

After he made sure everyone was in, he grabbed the lever of the gondola and pulled, then kicked it as hard as he could until it broke. No matter what, they couldn't be followed. The gondola was moving and was every time further away, Zuko's heartbeat accelerated, he had no choice. With long and fast steps, he picked up momentum and jumped off the platform.

For a split second he was weightless and then his heart came up his throat, horror flooded his veins; the realization of what he had done catching up with him immediately. He didn't watch carefully, for once he didn't think before he jumped. 

The gondola was on his left, he couldn't see, he was falling. He was falling and was going to die burned in a boiling lake.

But the feeling suddenly stopped, a hard surface hit his body, making pain shoot through his body and a hand strongly held onto his wrist. Zuko climbed on the gondola and tried to catch his breath.

Sokka looked at him with wide and terrified eyes. "What are you doing?!"

"I'm making it so they can't stop us," Zuko's confident voice was a high contrast with how hard his hands were shaking. 

Hakoda's voice soon crushed the illusion of safety. "Who's that?"

Zuko looked over at the platform and froze, the air was pushed out of his lungs and the hair on his nape stood up. They might be a little bit far away from the prison but Zuko could easily tell that person on top of it was staring right at him.

Azula.


	4. Chapter 4

Azula and Ty Lee grabbed handcuffs from the guards belts and hanged onto the line of gondola, getting closer at a terrifying speed, Azula's blue flames glowing like shooting star behind her.

But with every inch they got closer, the fear inside of Zuko was replaced with anger. His sister had ruined and made hell a great part of his life, well, not anymore; he was going to escape this shithole and Azula was not going to stop him.

"This is a rematch I've been waiting for," Suki said with the same rage he felt.

"Me too."

The near death experience from earlier long forgotten, Zuko climbed onto the roof of the gondola. The way it shook, swinging from side to side made his palms sweat but Sokka was guarding his left. If Zuko slipped, maybe Sokka would kick him back to the middle of the gondola's roof to regain his balance. 

Zuko had watched Azula fight before and he knew she would attack first, always eager to throw off her opponent, so when she threw a flame at his feet, he jumped over and kicked another flame at her. 

Azula threw him hit after hit, her attacks still controlled. Sokka was way faster than what both firebenders expected because between hits, he swung his sword at Azula. The momentary shock in her eyes transformed into anger. She sent another wave of blue flares at them, which Zuko only deviated. He could entertain her until they reached the ring of rocks surrounding the island but his brain suddenly had to work twice as fast when he heard a shout coming from inside the gondola.

"Cut the lines!"

Azula's flames quickly stopped and when Zuko looked behind her at the metal platform, he saw the characteristic spark of metal against metal. The guards were cutting the lines.

The gondola abruptly shook as it stopped and a scream reached his ears, Zuko looked to his left and widened his eyes. Sokka was rapidly sliding down the roof. Zuko reached out as fast as he could and grabbed Sokka's hand, trying to balance himself and help Sokka climb back at the same time.

Sokka clinged so hard to his hand that it hurt, despite how sweaty and possibly hot it was. Ty Lee's high pitch voice brought Zuko back to reality, his sister was looking behind him. 

He glanced back and saw another gondola rapidly coming their way from the edge of the volcano; a bit late with the reforces, he thought. Then Azula stared back at him and smiled.

"Goodbye, Zuko."

She jumped with grace to the other gondola, as it passed beside them, Zuko's anger still bubbling inside of him. He slowly breathed in and breathed out, his sister could wait another day. Zuko quickly got back inside the gondola and informed about what was happening. If he focused his eyesight, he could see some guards sawing the metal cable.

His breath was cut short when he saw the guards fall to the ground like leaves and a dark, tall figure taking down everyone on the platform, seemingly throwing something at them. Zuko let out a sigh of relief, he never thought he'd be this glad to see Mai, and quietly emitted a thank you when she made the gondola work again.

They quickly hopped off of it as soon as they reached mainland and ran through the dark rocks when an idea crashed against Zuko's mind. He halted his steps, Sokka immediately noticed and stopped too.

"Zuko, what are you doing?" He asked in an urgent voice.

"My sister was on that island."

"Yeah, and she's probably right behind us so let's not stop."

"What I mean is that she must have come here somehow." Sometimes Zuko was glad he knew his sister so well and despite being just as stubborn and reckless as the rest of the group, he was apparently the only one coolheaded enough to think about the next part of the escaping plan that didn't involve running as fast and as far as they could.

Zuko climbed into the highest rock he found around and was proven right. Right below him, anchored to an old dock, was a brand-new looking Fire Nation airship and not a single guard on sight.

"There," he smirked, "that's our way out of here."

⏳

The airship was fast, faster than the ones Zuko had seen before, so they were soon high up in the sky, cutting through white clouds heading to the Western Air Temple.

Zuko focused on his breathing as he watched the blue pass below him, his feet steady on the outdoor balcony of the ship and his hands holding onto the railing. It was quiet, way quieter than the last days, or weeks, of his life.

The low rumbling of the airship and the blow of the wind was all he could hear but after years in a loud, barely functional ship out in the sea, it felt strange. Once, all Zuko ever wanted was some peace and quiet, complete silence so he could calm his mind, but now he had it, even for a few seconds, he realized he hated it.

It made him feel way too small, with a tingling feeling all over his skin and a rare loneliness filling his chest. Zuko let out a sigh, he wanted noise.

He wanted voices around him, he wanted laugh, something that could hopefully cheer up his dark mood. Zuko leaned on the metal railing, closed his eyes and deeply inhaled as a cold breeze hit his skin. He didn't know how long it had passed, it could have been minutes or it could have been hours, but when he looked back up, his breath got caught in his throat.

The sky looked beautiful, a perfect mix of oranges and pinks, the white clouds stained with a light purple and the moon was only starting to show up as the sun went down; the night suddenly felt very cold. Zuko always loved scenery like this, it reminded him that beauty could exist in such a broken world but a hole could still be felt in his chest. He wasn't confused about that, he knew perfectly how loneliness felt.

They must be near the Air Temple, he realized, he should let the rest of the group know. His feet moved on their own, his stare got lost in the metal floor under him as he tried to figure out the long, narrow halls of the airship.

The reality suddenly called back to Zuko when he reached a big and threatening door, he looked around and realized that somehow he must have walked into the cockpit of the airship. He swung the door open and immediately halted his steps when he saw a figure over the control panel, then he let out a sigh. He wouldn't miss those blue clothes anywhere.

"I didn't know you'd be here," Zuko said. Well, it's not like he knew he would end up here either but Sokka didn't need to know that.

Sokka didn't answer and didn't seem to move at all for that matter, so Zuko got closer with a small frown in his face but then he felt a warmth spread through his chest.

The Water Tribe boy had his head leaned on the control panel and his eyes were close, his breathing absolutely peaceful. Zuko huffed a laugh, Sokka's cheek would be completely marked by buttons when he woke up.

Suddenly a thought crossed Zuko's mind: Sokka probably hasn't got a good night's sleep since they got on the war balloon; all the anxiety, the planning and the fighting must have finally caught up with him. As a sleep deprived person himself, Zuko knew all too well what it felt like to finally fall asleep, especially when your body just shut down itself because, despite the thousand things to keep you awake, it had no other choice.

It was already dark outside and if he calculated right, there was still at least an hour before they reached the Air Temple so Zuko thought he could let Sokka sleep a bit more, he'd gladly stay in the cockpit and make sure another crash landing wouldn't happen. Zuko was about to sit down on the chair at Sokka's right when he noticed the boy shiver. It was barely noticeable but Zuko's breath staggered when he realized that not everyone was a firebender, so not everyone could keep their body warm. Fire Nation ships weren't built for that, their people didn't need it.

But Sokka did, even if he lived in the South Pole his whole life, he just had a sleeveless shirt on. Zuko quickly searched in every supplies closet he could find near the cockpit until he finally found what he was looking for.

A quiet sigh of relief escaped his mouth when he walked back into the cockpit and saw that Sokka was still fast asleep, the fact that he was gone just for a couple of minutes flying right over his head. Zuko gently covered Sokka with the thick, red emergency blanket he found and briefly thought about moving Sokka's body into a seated position but he deemed the risk of waking up Sokka not worthy.

Zuko sat down and mindlessly looked at the other boy. Sokka looked so young, with his cheek squished against the control panel and his hair threatening to come out of the knot on his head. 

It was ironic how much Zuko panicked when he realized he felt at peace, the loneliness in his chest replaced by... fondness? Fear slipped into his brain, what the hell was this warm and comfortable feeling inside of him? Zuko usually knew how to identify his emotions, he just didn't care most of the time and let rage take over because it was effective.

But this? This just wasn't it, and a part of him wished so hard to be able to talk to Uncle Iroh, even if all he would do would be to give Zuko a hot cup of tea and let him vent. 

He thought for a few minutes and settled on thankfulness. Zuko had felt thankfulness before, must of it for Uncle Iroh and it wasn't quite yet what he was feeling for Sokka but Zuko was sure there was, at least, a lot of it. It surprised him a bit, he was thankful to Sokka. 

It hit him in that moment, with Sokka coincidentally sleeping at his left. Sokka hadn't left his left side ever since he realized Zuko couldn't see, and stuck to it even more at the Boiling Rock.

Zuko thought it must be Sokka protecting him as a part of the group, making up for his weakness but even if it was like that, even if it was to keep him alive so he could continue Aang's training, Zuko felt extremely thankful. Sokka might think it wasn't a big deal, like it was something he'd do for anyone, but it meant the world to Zuko, he appreciated beyond words.

Then he realized that despite being stuck in a Fire Nation prison for days, Zuko didn't have the additional worry of someone sneaking up on his left side... because Sokka was there. Did he really care that much? Zuko sighed and monetarily closed his eyes, he let himself dream again. 

Maybe Sokka did care.

⏳

No one seemed to mind the destroyed air balloon when they brought a brand new Fire Nation airship with them and the fact that Zuko went along with Sokka to break into a high security prison flew right past Katara's head when she saw Hakoda.

Toph punched Zuko on the shoulder, "I'm glad you're back in one piece, Sparky."

"Yeah, me too," she huffed a laugh and dragged him to fire at their dinner place. 

"Now you have to tell me everything about how much Fire Nation butt you kicked."

A soft chuckle left his mouth as he sat down and started talking.

⏳

The next couple of days were weird. If Zuko was asked he would say they were peaceful, with birds chirping and Appa grunting but something was off and a small part of him suspected it was because of Sokka, or rather the lack of him.

Ever since their return, Sokka and Katara were glued to Hakoda and Zuko wouldn't blame them, he was even happy for them but at the same time, his instinct and wariness came back to his body. Definitely not as strong as before, but at the end of the day, it was mentally exhausting to be always on guard, expecting an attack from the group that would never come. Zuko would never admit it and would much rather swallow sea water than to do it, he vaguely thought his uncle would just shove the fact gently into his face, but the truth was that Zuko missed Sokka's presence on his left. Going as far as needing it to keep the stress at bay and let him sleep for a couple of hours at night.

A bitterness sat on his mouth when he thought about it, this whole thing of joining team Avatar to help defeat Ozai was a mere temporary alliance, right? He couldn't get used to Sokka's presence and yet when he thought about it that way, something got squeezed in his chest. He was conflicted, to the say the least.

Zuko didn't have much time to keep thinking about his feelings though and in the end, he was right about always being on guard because one morning a loud explosion startled his body awake.

He frantically looked around and froze, a small fleet of Fire Nation airships in front of him, the dark metal pointing right at them. Aang rapidly airbend the panels protecting the place just in time for another wave of fire bombs to hit, the entire place trembled.

Zuko pushed Katara out of the way when a chunk of the roof fell over, the entire temple might be going down in minutes, they had to get out of there. When dust fell from the roof after another round of bombs from the airships, he clenched his fist and let the rage flood his veins. It was fine if Azula wanted to take him down, but the rest of the group had no fault at this. Zuko heard Aang yell at him as he dragged Appa into the tunnel Toph and Haru dugged in the wall.

"What are you doing?"

"Go ahead, I'll hold them off, " Zuko glared in the direction of the airships. "I think this is a family visit."

He heard Sokka trying to stop Aang from helping him but Zuko didn't look back as he jumped through the panels and faced the dust and smoke outside. He deflected the fire of an explosion and looked up from the crumbling rocks to the clear sky ahead, Azula's vicious stare on him.

"What are you doing here?" Zuko yelled. Hadn't she had enough?

"You mean it's not obvious yet?" A dangerous smile spread across her face. "I'm about to celebrate becoming an only child!"

Zuko should've seen it coming but before he could react, Azula quickly swung over the railing of the balcony of the ship and threw a big, blue flame at him. He only managed to move a few steps, the fireball hit a pillar beside him and sent him flying away, the air was pushed out of his lungs. The ground cracked under his fingers.

Feeling his heartbeat all over his limbs, Zuko got up and ran through one of the still standing pillars. He jumped and threw a quick succession of flames before landing on top of the airship but, sadly, he miscalculated. His breath was cut short and panic filled his veins when his foot slipped and suddenly he was sliding down the side of the ship. Zuko tried to grab onto anything but it was too late, he was flying again and this time not even boiling water was below him.

A sudden and sharp pain ran through his body, a metal surface hit his back. Zuko coughed and tried to breathe despite every bone on his body telling him to stop; in the corner of his eye, he saw an airship beside him move. He paid attention and despite the dizziness and the dark spots dancing before his eyes, he realized the airship that was actually moving was the one under him.

Zuko inhaled and slowly got up, Azula's airship soon came in sight with her standing on top of it, staring at her brother with a ruthless and playful look.

He relaxed and ignored the pain as he tried again, he ran with fast steps and jumped. Azula threw him a flame, but he deflected it and threw it back, which made Azula fall back.

Zuko hit again and again but as much as he knew his sister, Azula knew him as well. She kicked and fired at him after every time he attacked and soon Zuko was only able to defend himself. A drop of sweat slid down his temple, his sister's flames were too quick. Zuko tried to step closer, deviating all off her attacks as he walked forward.

He could've swore he saw Azula's next hit in slow motion, the fire in her hand a bright blue and his own hand lit up red. Suddenly a flash of white light blinded Zuko and in a split second, he was sliding across the top of the airship; then as fast as lightning, he slipped entirely and started to fall.

Zuko briefly saw the sky below him before something abruptly stopped his fall, he let out a groan as another wave of pain ran through his body. After a moment, he opened his eyes and realized he had landed on top of Appa, Sokka's wide blue eyes were staring at him.

He breathed in and sat up, after ignoring the painful pang on his lower back, then he turned around and watched his sister fall. Something stopped inside of him, she was not gonna make it.

In less than a second, Zuko was proved wrong. Azula rapidly stabilized and with a big flame from her feet, she made herself crash against one of the walls of the Temple, where she grabbed onto the rocks. Even if Zuko was every time further away, he was able to see a grin take over her face, her dark hair flowing around her with a sense of victory.

⏳

That night, despite being pretty much kicked out by force of the Air Temple, almost everyone was in a good mood, happy at the simple fact of being alive. Sokka even proposed a toast to Zuko but he had to say, it felt strange to him. He didn't win against Azula and if it wasn't for the rest of the group, he'd be dead; he hadn't done much.

"I'm touched," it was hard to say it, partially because it was true and partially because Zuko truly believed he wasn't worth the attention. His next words came in a sadder tone, "I don't deserve this."

"Yeah, no kidding." 

Again, almost everyone was in a good mood. Katara's voice was sharp and her stare was hard when she stood up and walked away from them. Sokka asked what was up with her and Zuko wished he knew, then he got up too and followed the girl.

The moon was high up in the sky and a cold wind was blowing when Zuko found Katara near the edge of the cliff they were camping at and he didn't mean to sound mad when he asked about why, when everyone in the group seemed to trust him now, she didn't.

Zuko knew that maybe Katara didn't mean it, but when she turned around, glared and yelled at him, she hit him right where it hurt the most. 

She had been indeed the first person to trust him, back in Ba Sing Se and he betrayed her, he betrayed all of them. Zuko was a traitor, there probably wasn't a single person on Earth that had trusted him and hadn't been abandoned by him. Katara was the first one, then Uncle Iroh and then Mai. Why did everyone that cared for him ended up hurt? He wondered, even though deep down he knew the answer was that it was his own fault.

⏳

It hurt to ask Sokka about his mother, the sadness that swimmed in his eyes was more like a long engraved pain than an excruciating burn and Zuko felt guilty at the small spark of happiness that birthed in his chest when he found out there was a way of helping Katara.

He didn't even realize when the sun came up and the Water Tribe girl stepped out of her tent.

"What do you want?" She spat as she walked past him.

"I know who killed you mother," Katara froze at Zuko's words, "and I'm going to help you find them."

⏳

His field trip with Katara felt way different than his field trip with Sokka, even if they were under the same sky and were planning to sneak up into a life threatening place. This time they were flying on Appa and the sky was dark, as well as a deep quietness they implicitly agreed on.

Zuko was on edge, he knew Katara didn't like him so the possibility of her attacking him were much higher, even if she didn't know about his blind eye. They limited themselves to talk about the plan and what they had to do when they arrived at the navy communication tower.

They worked in silence, two perfect and dangerous shadows hidden in the dark that easily got the information they needed. That same night, Zuko accidentally fell asleep, his tired body wasn't able to handle another whole night up, and he panicked when he woke up but a second later he realized that Katara hadn't moved from Appa's head, her crossed legged position having stayed the same for hours.

When they reached the Southern Raiders ship, Zuko was amazed, to say the least, at the way Katara almost sunk the entire ship and took down every firebender on her way, barely needing his help at all. 

They got inside almost effortlessly and ran through short halls until they found themselves right in front of the door of the main office, a chill ran down his spine when he saw Katara's eyes. He thought the burning hatred in them was something he would ever find in Sokka's eyes but Zuko knew Katara had to do this and he didn't have the right to stand in her way.

When she took down the door, he quickly attacked the man inside but soon stopped when the man suddenly didn't fight back. Zuko looked at the firebender and saw raw terror in his eyes as he slowly knelt while gritting his teeth, a drop of sweat was sliding down his temple. Then Zuko turned around and his eyes widened when everything clicked in his head.

Katara, for short seconds, was way more terrifying than his father.

Even after she realized the man was not the one who killed her mother and climbed back on Appa, the image kept repeating in Zuko's head. He made sure to keep the girl on his right for the rest of the trip.

The small island they arrived to had dark clouds in the sky and a humid air, rain threatening to pour any minute. A cool wind blew and water started to fall when they caught the grey haired man on the road to the village, the monster of Katara's nightmares was shaking as a falling leaf before them. She made the rain stop and hundreds of ice shattered pieces were about to go through the man but suddenly she stopped. 

She couldn't do it, Katara seemed to realize as the old man begged for his life.

Zuko let out a sigh of relief he didn't know he had been holding, he felt himself wake up along with Katara. Were they actually going to kill this man? The answer apparently was no, because the Water Tribe girl, without sparing a second glance at her mother's killer, turned around and left.

After their return, Zuko told Aang about their adventure and as soon as he finished, Aang quickly went to find Katara, who was seated with her feet dangling off, on the edge of a dock. Forgiveness was the first step to begin healing, Aang told her.

"But I haven't forgiven him, I'll never forgive him," she replied as she stood up. Then she looked at Zuko with understanding eyes, "but I am ready to forgive you."

Zuko froze for a moment when Katara gave him a quick and tight hug, to then walk away. He didn't want to ruin the mood but Aang seemed way too happy after Katara agreed that violence wasn't the answer, how proudly he said that it never was. Zuko was able to perfectly read Aang's worried and lost expression at his next question.

"What are you going to do when you face my father?"

⏳ 

For once, Zuko seemed to have a good idea: to hide in Ember Island because not even in a million years, Azula would look for them there. It was good for a couple of days, the sky was clear and the sun wasn't strong enough to burn their skin.

It all quickly ended one day when right after Zuko finished with Aang's morning training, Sokka came around with a poster and an excited expression on his face.

 _The boy in the iceberg_ , portrayed by the Ember Island players, it said and the looks on everyone's faces told Zuko that they were definitely going to watch it.

He couldn't hold in a groan.

⏳

As everything the Ember Island players portrayed, it butchered his eyes and ears. He didn't even know why they were still watching it when it clearly made everyone uncomfortable at some point, except for Toph. 

But it wasn't fair. She had a muscle version of herself taking down ten bad guys at once and making sassy remarks but the performance Zuko had just watched took all the mistakes he'd done in his life and shoved them back in his face, plus some of Katara's angry words still echoing in his head.

His uncle, who always had been on his side, even when things were bad. He was there for Zuko, taught him so much and how did he repay him? With a knife on his back. It was easily Zuko's greatest regret and the possibility of never being able to redeem himself always loomed over his head.

His heart was squeezed inside his chest when Toph told him he already had redeemed himself, he just didn't realize it yet. She once had a long conversation with Uncle Iroh and he wouldn't stop talking about Zuko, to the point it was annoying. If he saw him now, working alongside the Avatar to help defeat Ozai, he'd be proud; some of the pressure inside Zuko lessened.

He felt thankful for Toph, even after she hardly hit him on the shoulder.

His joy didn't seem to last a lot though because after the intermission, the play reached the present. Sokka loudly said that it had to be it, the play had to end unless they were going to portray the future. Which they absolutely did.

Zuko saw his Ember Island self fight in duel, which he refused to call an Agni Kai, with Azula and be swallowed by fire, with Ember Island Aang soon suffering the same fate at the hands of Ozai. Zuko rationally knew it was a play, and very clearly Fire Nation propaganda, but he couldn't stop a chill from running down his spine or his mouth from suddenly becoming very dry.

His father just won in front of everyone and Zuko just couldn't believe how loud the crowd cheered.

⏳

He felt restless that night, his bed was too stiff and the air inside his room too humid, as if every passing minute the walls got closer to him to the point of making him feel suffocated.

Zuko got out of the room and walked to the beach in front of the house, lettin the night air fill his lungs and the sand under his feet ground him. He was partially angry at the reasons behind his insomnia tonight, he was aware that the play was as fake as it could get and that it had no insurance the events portrayed would end up happening, but then why did he feel like a massive weight was crushing him?

Well, deep inside he knew. 

There were days left before Sozin's comet crossed the sky, and while Aang was learning quickly, he lacked ferociousness and the spark of raw emotion you needed to firebend. Yes, Zuko admitted it, he was worried Aang failed.

But mostly importantly, a voice inside of him provided, Zuko was scared of the aftermath if Aang failed. Ozai would have defeated the only person capable enough to stop him and then he would probably kill every person that opposed him as well, all of Zuko's friends included. Ironically he thought if that happened, he would gladly follow them. Terror filled his veins when he imagined what his father would do to him if he was left alive.

Zuko roughly kicked the sand, why did he have to feel like this? Had he been born a coward? Why couldn't he be brave enough and face, once and for all, his sister and his father? 

"You already have."

He flinched and then turned around, the impulse to firebend at whatever caught him by surprise almost completely controlled by now. He let out a sigh when he realized Sokka was staring at him, his face barely visible in the moonlight.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to interrupt," Sokka said, Zuko's eyes widened when he realized he must have been thinking out loud.

"No, it's fine," he shrugged and tried to laugh but it came out more like a huff. "It's not like I own the beach."

"Yeah, that would be funny," Sokka's words had a high contrast with his serious expression and his solemn voice.

They stayed quiet for a few more minutes, Sokka mindless digging his feet on the sand and Zuko staring at the horizon, a ray of light starting to come up. He heard Sokka abruptly inhale.

"I get it, you know?" Sokka's eyes were still on the ground but Zuko's were now on his face. "Being scared, I don't really remember a time in my life when I wasn't scared."

Zuko didn't really want to talk about it, his emotions had been long buried inside of him and suddenly one of his deepest fears was out in the open but for some reason, he didn't have the courage to tell Sokka to stop.

"Ever since dad left the South Pole to fight the Fire Nation, I was afraid something might happen. Most people understand the dangerous things, like a raid but sometimes, things like Katara returning just a few minutes after sunset wouldn't let me sleep."

Sokka's voice sounded strained, then he sat down on the sand.

"Ever since we, Aang, Katara and I, left the South Pole, I fear that every time I have a plan, it might fail. Some of them have, and of it wasn't for a hit of luck or Toph, we would've died a long time ago."

Something got squeezed inside Zuko's chest, so hard he felt like he had to stop for a few minutes and remind himself how to breathe. 

Just the way he had told Sokka in the Boiling Rock, there were some things that were best not thought through, like his next words, for example. "Sokka, you're the bravest and smartest person I have ever met in my entire life."

Sokka let out a soft chuckle. 

"Oh, really?" He looked up at Zuko, his expression still sad but a playful glint showed up in his eyes. "How many people in your life have you met to make you think that the smartest one drank cactus juice in the middle of the desert with a waterbender beside them?”

"Sokka, you've engineered airships, submarines and you stood your ground against Piandao in a sword match. You lead a tribe on your own for years and I'm sure if it wasn't for you, not a hit of luck, that we'd be dead. If that's not bravery and smartness, I don't know what it is."

Sokka was now staring attentively at him, the soft light of sunrise hitting the side of his face. He looked genuinely surprised and Zuko's breath got caught in his throat when a big grin spreaded on Sokka's face, his eyes rarely fond.

"You're such a hypocrite."

Zuko took a few steps back, what did Sokka just say? 

"Oh, don't act so surprised," the look of confusion was glued to Zuko's face, Sokka stood up and looked at him with determined eyes. "I can't believe you just said that when easily the bravest person here is you. You can't seriously think that you're a coward."

Zuko stared down at his feet, why was Sokka ruining his best try at comforting him bringing back the attention to him?

"Zuko," Sokka walked closer, leaned down and searched for his eyes, "you don't seem to realize you already have faced your father and sister, more than once actually and risked your life every single time."

Zuko looked up at Sokka's intense gaze.

"Oh, no! Don't look at me like, you know your life has value. If it wasn't for you, we'd be buried under Air Temple rocks."

"Azula wouldn't have gone to the Air Temple if I—”

Sokka didn't let him finish, because he grabbed Zuko by the shoulders and roughly shook him, his blue eyes piercing right through Zuko.

"Zuko, you're not listening, you have to listen to me!" Sokka suddenly inhaled and softened his tone. "You are now part of team Avatar, Zuko, and there's no way we're going to let you walk away. Yes, we're really scared about what would happen if we fail but... we'll do it together, you know? We'll figure something out, like we always do. We wouldn't be able to do this without you, Zuko, we care about you," Sokka's next words were almost missed by Zuko's ears. "I care about you."

His heart about to burst out of his chest and his palms were sweating badly, he must be hallucinating. Did Sokka just admit he cared about him? Could he repite it so Zuko made sure he heard right? Sokka's deep blue eyes were too close and Zuko suddenly couldn't remember how to breathe.

Everything shattered when a cheerful voice ringed in his ears.

"You guys are up already?" 

Sokka's hands quickly left his shoulders as if Zuko burned and took a few steps back, then he scratched his head.

"Yeah, I was thinking about fishing something for breakfast," Sokka rushed.

Just like that, the fierce and vulnerable Sokka Zuko saw in the light of the morning sun was gone and a subtle disappointment sat on his chest. This night could have easily been the first night he talked truly about his feelings ever since he betrayed Uncle Iroh. For a few minutes, despite his heartbeat going a thousand miles per hour, the weight crushing Zuko had lessened and he desperately wanted that feeling back.

He couldn't blame Aang though, because Zuko himself insisted on training at sunrise. He deeply sighed, this might be a long day.

⏳

Sokka's words echoed in Zuko's head throughout all his forms and stances, the way Sokka reacted when he realized they were no longer alone. Yeah, Zuko wasn't going to be able to focus on his firebending so he might as well focus on Aang's.

Aang had mastered plenty of firebending by now, but Zuko told him he lacked what made firebenders special. He lacked the emotion that connected them to the flames, to lose the fear he had of fire.

They soon stopped when Katara offered watermelon juice, followed by Sokka proposing a beach party and Zuko couldn't believe how fast everyone agreed, not a single trace of hesitation on their faces. Except for him of course, he knew the only thing Ozai was waiting for to attack was the comet, not them. So, as much as he found Sokka's tanned skin distracting and wanted to relax at the beach, Zuko came up with a plan; he just hoped Katara wouldn't choke him right then and there.

He never thought he'd have to attack Aang again, like in the old times, but it turns out he needed to learn a lesson. Zuko closed his eyes and breathed in behind the bushes on the edge of the beath, trying to let go of the tension in his shoulders. Then, he quickly jumped and threw flames at the sand sculptures, then at Aang, who flipped away and escaped.

They ran and flew while stepping on trees, Zuko never stopping throwing fireballs until they landed on the roof of the house and Aang turned around with anger in his usually peaceful eyes.

"Get a grip before I blast you off this roof!"

"Go ahead and do it.” Zuko attacked again. 

Aang slid down the roof tiles and entered the house, then Zuko crashed a hole in the roof right after, sweat was starting to drip down his back. He suddenly couldn't see Aang and he tried to listen closely, despite his heartbeat ringing in his ears, when a closet flew at him. Immediately, Zuko punched through it and followed Aang. 

Zuko didn't really want to do this, given how the play yesterday engraved an insecurity in all of them, but he rapidly moved his hands to create the ring of fire Ozai used to deliver the final blow.

The flames dissipated as fast as Zuko threw them, a strong wind blowing them off and when he looked up, he saw Aang's furious expression.

"Enough!"

A strong air blast threw Zuko back, his body going right through the wall behind; to then crash against a tree and fall down, the air was pushed out of his lungs and he couldn't hold in a groan as he got up. Voices were slowly reaching his ears.

"What's wrong with you?” Katara yelled. "You could've hurt Aang!"

"What's wrong with me?" Zuko yelled back, he'd had enough. There were things way more important than building sand sculptures and surfing, but apparently he was the only one who could see it. "What's wrong with all of you? How can you sit around having beach parties when Sozin's comet is only three days away?

Suddenly, silence fell upon and everyone exchanged looks. Aang looked at Zuko with guilt while the rest of them stared at him in slight shock.

"Why are you all looking at me like I'm crazy?"

"About Sozin's comet..." Aang carefully started, "I was actually going to wait to fight the Fire Lord until after it came."

"After?" Someone had lost his mind and that someone wasn't Zuko.

Aang continued, "I'm not ready, I need more time to master firebending."

"So, you all knew Aang was gonna wait?" Zuko asked the rest of the group.

Katara explained that the whole point of fighting the Fire Lord before the comet was to stop the Fire Nation from winning the war, but they pretty much won the war when they took Ba Sing Se. Things couldn't get any worse.

She was wrong. Zuko knew it was about to get worse than what she could even imagine.

Ba Sing Se was still under the Fire Nation's control however earthbender rebellions prevented them from achieving a total victory over the Earth Kingdom. The Fire Nation's forces were spread too thin but Sozin's comet was almost upon them, and on that day, it would give them the strength and power of a hundred suns. No bender would stand a chance against them.

When the comet last came, Fire Lord Sozin, used it to wipe out the Air Nomads and now, Ozai was going to use its power to end the Earth Kingdom. Fire Nation's airships were going to rain fire over the land, a fire that would destroy everything and would only leave ashes behind.

Zuko had wanted to speak out against the horrifying plan, and he was ashamed to say he didn't. His whole life he had struggled to gain his father's love and acceptance but once he had it, he realized he had lost himself getting there. He'd forgotten who he was.

"What am I gonna do?" Aang sounded as lost as Zuko once felt.

"I know you're scared," Zuko wanted to encourage Aang in a nice way but the words refused to leave his mouth. He wasn't used to kind encouragement, he even felt sorry for the kid, "and I know you're not ready to save the world but if you don't defeat the Fire Lord before the comet comes, there won't be a world to save."

"Why didn't you tell me about your dad's crazy plan sooner?" Aang exclaimed.

Oh, he was angry?

"I didn't think I had to, I assumed you were still gonna fight before the comet. No one told me you decided to wait!"

"This is bad." Zuko saw Aang bury his head on his hands and crouch down. "This is really, really bad."

Katara walked up to him. "Aang, you don't have to do this alone."

"Yeah, if we all fight the Fire Lord together, we've got a shot at taking him down,” Toph added.

Then Sokka threw his fist into the air, his next words making Zuko feel a pang on his chest at the implication that he was included in the group. A ratification of Sokka's earlier words at the beach.

"All right! Team Avatar is back!"

Zuko forced his feet to drag him into the group hug and he has never been this happy at Appa kicking them into the ground.

⏳

That same night, at the steps in the inner yard of the house, Katara came around and showed them a baby picture of Ozai she found, Suki commented he looked so sweet and innocent. Well, that sweet little kid grew up to be a monster and the worst father in the history of fathers, Zuko replied.

"But he's still a human being." Aang spoke clearly and sadly.

"You're going to defend him?" Zuko asked, giving the airbender a chance to explain himself before getting angry.

"No, I agree with you. Fire Lord Ozai is a terrible person," that was an understatement in Zuko's opinion," and the world would probably be better off without him, but there's gotta be another way."

"Like what?" Zuko regretted sounding so bitter but it was true, the world would indeed be better without Ozai in it. 

Aang deeply sighed, "I don't know. Maybe we can make some big pots of glue and then I can use gluebending to stick his arms and legs together so he can't bend anymore," he finished with a smile.

"Yeah, then you can show him his baby pictures and all of those happy memories will make him good again." Zuko heard some muffled laughs behind him.

"Do you really think that would work?"

"No!"

Aang's shoulders sagged, his voice came out deeply distressed. "This goes against everything I learned from the monks, I can't just go around wiping out people I don't like."

"Sure, you can. You're the Avatar," Sokka interrupted. "If it's in the name of keeping balance, I'm pretty sure the universe will forgive you."

"This isn't a joke, Sokka!" Aang clenched his fists and changed his tone into an angry one. "None of you understands the position I'm in!"

Katara gave a step towards him. "Aang, we do understand, it's just—"

"Just what, Katara, what?"

"We're trying to help!" She yelled.

"When you figure out a way for me to beat the Fire Lord without taking his life, I'd love to hear it!"

Aang turned around and rushed inside the house, gripping tightly his staff and with a frown in his face.

"Aang, don't walk away from this!"

Katara seemed to want to go after him but Zuko quickly got up and put a hand on her shoulder. There was no use in talking with people who were angry, it was better to let them cool down and then approach; it took him an awful long time to understand that and a part of him wondered how Uncle Iroh didn't complain, not even once.

"Let him go," Zuko said. "He needs time so sort it out by himself."

Hours later he wished he hadn't stopped Katara, wished he had just shut his mouth and stayed seated, because the next morning Aang was nowhere to be found.


	5. Chapter 5

They looked around everywhere, every room, hall and corner of the house, at least a mile around the beach and the town in Ember Island but the only things Aang left behind were his staff and footprints in the direction of the sea. Zuko had a very bad feeling about this.

They were seated on the stairs of the house when suddenly everyone looked at him with expecting eyes, a faint blush creeped up his cheek when Katara said that after all, he was the expert in finding the Avatar. Zuko sighed, well, she was right and wasn't proved wrong when he got an idea.

⏳

Zuko would've liked to pay attention to the evening sky on their way to the Earth Kingdom. There were clouds as big as islands above him and everything single one had an orange tint to it, cold wind was hitting his face and the air was so pure it burned his lungs. But such a beautiful sunset only made him worry even more, it was just a way to tell the time, which they were quickly running out of. 

They arrived at the Earth Kingdom inn Zuko was looking for, a clear fight going on with a clear winner as well. Toph grinned, of course she would like June.

Zuko almost physically felt how hope abandoned them when after June's mole smelled Aang's staff, he was gone, she said. Aang wasn't dead, they would be able to find his body if he was, he just didn't exist.

What the hell were they going to do now? Ozai and his fleet were on its way and the Avatar had completely disappeared from the face of the Earth. Fear slipped into Zuko's veins, he was running out of ideas and his friends were counting on him. Suddenly, a thought crossed his mind, a thought that carried a wise voice he had missed almost has much as his mother's. A voice that always reminded him that if he needed help, he would be there.

So despite how tightly his hands gripped onto Appa to stop them from shaking and how fast his heart was beating, Zuko closely followed June.

They flew all night, only the moon lighting up their way, every time deeper into the Earth Kingdom. It was still dark when they crossed the first of Ba Sing Se's defenses: a high wall of stone, now mostly destroyed.

They hadn't closed their eyes the entire night and it would be useless to search for Uncle Iroh when they couldn't see, so they settled for catching some sleep for a few hours.

If it wasn't for Toph, they might as well have woken up toasted because a ring of fire around them startled them awake and slapped them back into reality; the flames were surrounding them perfectly but Zuko noticed they didn't seem to move forward. He was trying to put them down when dark figures came up from the wall's ruins, immediately he adopted an offensive stance.

The flames grew brighter and Zuko's eyes widened when he recognized one of the figures, then he relaxed; Sokka ran to Piandao and Katara also seemed to know the rest of the old men. They talked about a call they received about a month ago, saying their organization was needed and that moment it then clicked inside Zuko.

The Order of the White Lotus.

⏳

He didn't really listen to Bumi's explanation as they walked through the ruins of the outer wall of Ba Sing Se, he was way too busy trying to calm down his rapid heart and ignoring the way every step he gave felt heavier than the one before. Zuko focused again when the group stopped, a stone wall plopped down in front of them.

"Well, here we are," Bumi announced. "Welcome to Old People Camp."

Green tents were evenly, almost perfectly, distributed in a small field of grass and there was no real light around but if Zuko paid attention he could see some orange glowing inside a few tents.

"Where? Where is he?" Zuko rushed.

"Your uncle's in there, Prince Zuko," he tried not to cringe too hard at that. When he betrayed the Fire Nation, he had given up the title of Prince but he didn't have the energy to correct Piandao right now.

Zuko glanced at the tent Piandao signaled and with slow steps, he walked to it but when he was right in front of the entrance, he abruptly stopped. Every heartbeat was a loud bang on his head, the cold from the grass slipped through his thin clothes when he sat down.

Light steps were approaching him, Zuko closed his eyes when he heard Katara's gentle voice.

"Are you okay?"

"No, I'm not okay." There was nothing he could do to stop the words from leaving his mouth. "My uncle hates me, I know it. He loved me and supported me in every way he could and I still turned against him. How can I even face him?

He could face his father and Azula, their hatred long accepted but his uncle? Zuko didn't even want to imagine his face when he saw Zuko again.

Katara continued. "Zuko, you're sorry for what you did, right?" 

"More sorry than I have ever been in my entire life."

"Then he'll forgive you," Zuko looked up at her and saw honesty in her eyes. "He will."

The dark green fabric of the tent was staring back at him, almost mocking him, and a faint orange light was coming from inside. He got up and tried to breathe in and then breathed out, if worse came to worst, if Uncle Iroh did in fact hate him, he could still try and stay with team Avatar for a while. With his heart on his hand, Zuko stepped in.

"Uncle..."

He immediately halted his steps when a soft snoring reached his ears, followed by a fond smile when he saw his uncle's sleeping body. For a second, Zuko thought about waking him up, but there was no reason to do that and he didn't have the heart to do it anyways so instead, he sat down and waited.

It must have been only a couple of hours until the sun rose outside, Uncle Iroh slowly waking up. Zuko completely ignored the fact that he could barely feel his legs after being seated for so long but couldn't ignore the way Uncle Iroh froze after realizing someone was behind him. The pressure Zuko's chest was collapsing under was the biggest he had ever felt, the knot in his throat barely let him breath and his eyes were already welling up with unshed tears.

"Uncle, I know you must have mixed feelings about seeing me," he started and clearly heard his own voice crack, "but I want you to know that I am so, so sorry, Uncle. I am so sorry and ashamed of what I did, I don't know how I could ever make it up to you, but I—"

Zuko couldn't stop the tears from rolling down his cheeks. When Uncle Iroh grabbed him by the shoulders and wrapped his arms around him, Zuko couldn't hold in a gasp.

"How can you forgive me so easily?" He sniffled. "I thought you would be furious with me."

"I was never angry at you," Uncle Iroh said in a gentle voice as he slowly caressed Zuko's head. "I was sad, because I was afraid you'd lost your way."

"I did lose my way."

Uncle Iroh let go of his body and Zuko's skin suddenly felt really cold, breathing technique long forgotten. His heart clenched inside of him when he saw his uncle's fond eyes full of tears as well.

"But you've found it again," he put his hand on Zuko's shoulder and squeezed it, "and you did it by yourself and I am so happy you found your way here."

Zuko wobbly smiled after another sob shook him and Uncle Iroh hugged him again, he held Zuko so tight to the point it hurt but it was a pain Zuko was glad he was to be able to feel.

"It wasn't that hard, Uncle," he said as he wrapped his own arms around the bigger body. "You have a pretty strong scent."

Zuko felt Uncle Iroh shake as he let out a laugh, he tried to let go but Zuko clinged to his clothes as if his life depended on it. Then he sniffled and tried to swallow the knot on his throat but his voice still came out as nothing more than a whisper.

"I had some friends to help me along the way."

"You did?"

Zuko buried his head on Uncle Iroh's shoulder and nodded, trying to remember how to breath properly again. He suddenly couldn't measure his words anymore and everything he had been holding inside of him came out, as if he had tipped over a glass of water and everything happened too fast to take back.

"Yes, and I think they care about me," Sokka cared about him. This time Zuko let go of his uncle but that didn't stop him from caressing the side of Zuko's head with one hand, "and I don't know what I'm gonna do if something happened to them."

His breathing was way too fast and Uncle Iroh looked at him with kind eyes, Zuko grabbed the hand that was touching his head with both of his and squeezed it tightly. Then he closed his eyes and leaned his head on them, his trembling lips barely let out his next words.

"I'm scared, Uncle. I'm so, so scared."

"Oh, Zuko," Uncle Iroh put his free hand over Zuko's head and spoke softly. "You wouldn't believe how proud of you I am of hearing you say that."

Zuko glanced up and held back the impulse to talk, he could be patient right now. He vaguely thought one of his Uncle's advices would really do him some good right now.

"Only a brave man knows when to admit he's scared, if he wasn't scared at all, he'd be a fool," Uncle Iroh's eyes held so much love in them that it broke Zuko and fixed him at the same time. "Years ago, you wouldn't even tell me if you were hungry or cold, you've walked a long panth since then and now I can see the face of a brave young man who can admit his faults and fears, someone who cares deeply about his friends and is capable of asking for forgiveness. You've come such a long way, Zuko, and I couldn't be more proud."

Zuko tried to hold back the tears that had just stopped coming, but he couldn't. Something had been unlocked inside of him and the pressure in his chest disappeared almost completely; he sighed and looked at his uncle with glistening eyes.

"Uncle, I..." Zuko had no words, thousands of different emotions crashing against him in waves. How could he begin to express how thankful he was for his uncle? How much he appreciated him and loved him? 

Apparently, he didn't have to because after years of knowing Zuko and practically raising him, Uncle Iroh was able to see right through him. He smiled fondly and tightly hugged his nephew one last time.

"I know, Zuko... I know."

⏳

If anyone saw how red his eyes were, they didn't say anything, and he was thankful for it. His spoon stopped midway to his mouth when he realized.

Zuko was thankful for them, for his friends.

A part of him still hesitated to call them like that but the other part of him only wanted to keep doing it, as if the thrill of it was capable of crushing the fear. He wanted to stay here, having breakfast around a fire but soon realized he couldn't have chosen a worst moment to enjoy calling team Avatar his friends, with the possibility they might die in a couple of hours looming over their heads.

He sighed, sadly they still had things to do.

Zuko asked Uncle Iroh if he would help them defeat Ozai, and his eyes widened when he said no. That even if he could, history would see it as more senseless violence, a brother killing a brother to grab power. The only way to end this war peacefully was for the Avatar to defeat the Fire Lord.

Given his previous answer, Zuko admitted he was scared yet again when he asked if his uncle would take his rightful place in the throne. 

No, he answered. Someone new had to take the throne, an idealist with a pure heart and unquestionable honor and he made Zuko's heart skip a beat with his next words.

"It has to be you, Prince Zuko."

Him? No, that couldn't be, he had made too many mistakes. Uncle Iroh argued back and said that indeed, Zuko had. He had also struggled and suffered but also reminded him he had always followed his own path, he had restored his own honor and only _he_ could restore the honor of the Fire Nation.

In the end, Zuko thought that the only thing he could do was to try.

Their destinies were upon them, and while Aang's was to face Ozai, Zukos was to return to the Fire Nation. So when the Fire Lord fell, he was there to assume the throne and restore peace and order.

The only problem was that his sister was going to be there, waiting for him but after so long running away from her and everything she represented, Zuko was done. 

He could handle Azula.

⏳

If everyone wanted to be where they needed to be on time, they had to leave the camp in less than twenty minutes. It didn't really make a difference for Zuko but Katara had one or two things to do.

And yet somehow he felt like the picture was incomplete, like he should be doing something but had no idea what, a piece was missing on his puzzle. A tingling feeling held onto his skin and worry sat on his chest. Then he shook his head, the only thing he should worry about right now was how to defeat Azula but the idea completely crumbled down when Zuko saw Sokka run in front of him from one tent into another.

That was it, he realized. Sokka was not going with him and Katara to the Fire Nation and instead was going to stop the airship fleet from destroying the Earth Kingdom. 

Katara didn't know about Zuko's blind eye, but at this point, it was way more than just making sure no one jumped on him. The pressure grew in his chest, this could be the last time he saw Sokka and if Zuko had learned something throughout the years, is that he hated leaving without properly saying goodbye. He quickly followed Sokka as he tried to erase the word 'goodbye' from his head.

Zuko found Sokka kneeled on the ground of the tent, dressed in full warrior armor, his stare fixed on his wolf-looking helmet. As soon as he heard someone come in, Sokka stood up and turned around.

"Zuko! Hey, I—"

"Hi." The chain of bad decisions continued, Zuko had chosen the worst moment possible to be awkward. He almost let out a groan but breathed in instead, "I wanted to talk to you."

He mentally slapped himself, he was digging his own grave, why did he have to say that? Zuko had no idea what to say or a reason to explain his presence on the tent. What, he was going to ask Sokka to go to the Fire Nation with him and stay by his side, just so he could feel secure?

"What about?" Sokka seemed to notice his nervousness, prompting him to keep talking and staying quiet after.

Zuko's palms sweated and his breathing staggered, he liked when Sokka filled the empty space around him with his constant chatter, without it, it made the silence way too loud for Zuko. Now it was his turn to talk, Sokka was looking at him expectantly and Zuko had no idea where to even start.

He wandered around his feelings, asking himself how to explain how thankful he was for Sokka for always protecting his weak side, how much he enjoyed his loud and annoying presence and how much his smile made his heart want to burst out his chest. A knot tightened his throat, words couldn't fail him now. 

Sokka fidgeted with his helmet between his hands, a weird smile on his face. "Zuko—"

"No, wait! I—"

"You don't have to say anything," Sokka briefly looked down at his feet and back at Zuko, then he sighed. "I get it."

Zuko gave a step back, his mouth suddenly felt very dry. "You... you do?

Sokka shrugged and walked closer to him. Now he was a foot away, Zuko was able to see a glint of sadness swimming in his beautiful blue eyes.

"Yeah, you want to say your goodbyes but you can be sure as hell I'm not letting you because..." Sokka tried to keep up the cheerful facade but his voice and his smile wavered, "we'll see each other later, right?"

Zuko could've swore he heard his heart break when he noticed Sokka's eyes glistening. He didn't have the time to answer because in less than a second after he finished, Sokka wrapped his arms tightly over Zuko's shoulders.

He wasn't very used to hugs, only figuring them out recently, but there was nothing he wanted more right now than Sokka as close as he could possibly get. He wrapped his own arms around Sokka's waist and squeezed, as if it was the first and last time he would ever get this chance.

Their joy was short though, time and the odds forever against them. Sokka pulled away and let a watery smile show up on his face, Zuko's hands not ready to let him go yet. Agni, please, let him have just a few more seconds.

"You can complement me all you want when you get back, okay?" Sokka said as he peeled off Zuko's hands from his waist, and it may have been his imagination, but he was almost sure Sokka squeezed them briefly. His brain was not working anymore, he barely remembered how to breathe. No, Sokka couldn't just walk away.

Zuko watched with wide eyes as the Water Tribe boy breathed in and let out his final words before putting on his helmet and leaving the tent.

"You better come back in one piece, Jerkbender."

⏳

The look of sheer determination in Sokka's eyes when they parted, repeated once and over and over again in Zuko's mind as he flew on Appa. He didn't get to finish what he had to say, he didn't even start and fear rapidly flooded his veins when he imagined what could happen to Sokka. He could die and Zuko never got to say thank you.

With shaking hands, he made a promise to himself. If they both made it out alive of this, he had to tell Sokka everything he felt, whether it took mere minutes or entire days. He tried to calm down his breathing and his heart; if he wanted to come back, he would have to go through Azula first.

A sudden wave of courage ran through his body when Zuko saw the Fire Nation on the horizon and as sure as the comet dyeing the clouds red above them and the strong wind cutting his face, this ended today. 

With the crown on his head or around his neck.

⏳

Zuko felt like falling, way too slow and way too fast at the same time. He was floating in the middle of the sea and crashing midair.

His heart stopped and yet he could feel it pounding through all of his body, his limbs and his lungs didn't respond to him. Loud cracks were heard in the air but when he opened his eyes, he was blinded by a blue so bright it hurt to look at it. When he attempted to move, every bone in his tired body screamed in pain.

He breathed in and let himself fall again. The one time Zuko thought before he jumped, he ended up falling again but he had landed already and couldn't stand lying in the cold ground, white flashing in front of his eyelids every time he reached out and tried to get up because he _had_ to get up. After focusing on his heartbeat and the way it ran too fast through him, too fast for it to be good, he yelled at the pain and opened his eyes.

The air inside of him was stolen again, the sky was red. The sky shined a bright red, almost as if it was on fire and the clouds were splashes of sun in it, it seemed to change by the minute and he couldn't keep up with it. Everything was spinning too fast, he was choking, he was drowning. He was falling.

But he had to get up.

A deep shade of blue flashed on his eyelids, as if it could slice through the blooded sky. There were cries and screams ringing in his ears but there was also the echo of a loud laugh resonating in his head.

He had to get up.

Unknown words burned in the tip of his tongue, his heart was about to break out of his chest for reasons he had just begun to understand.

_Get up._

Zuko reached out to his fingertips, like when he had to focus to summon a flame, all to keep him from falling. He gritted his teeth so hard he felt like someone was hammering his skull and yet he ignored every wave of pain as he moved his hand and tried to get up.

⏳

When Zuko woke up again, all he saw was red. Panic flooded his veins immediately and his heart nearly jumped out of his chest but everything lasted less than a second, because he quickly realized this was not the comet dyed sky.

It was a roof.

And if the faded burn marks weren't an illusion, it was the roof of his own room in the royal palace.

After the initial shock, a big pang of pain hit him in the chest; he shouldn't have gasped. Oh, Agni, he shouldn't even have breathed. Zuko shut his eyes tightly and opened them back when he noticed something heavy on his hand, ee looked at his left and held back the impulse to gasp again.

Sokka was seated on a chair besides his bed, with his face lying against the covers and his hand wrapped around Zuko's. For a few minutes, he believed he was hallucinating but he was proven wrong when he heard Sokka softly snore.

Zuko's throat felt as if he had swallowed sand, he tried to call Sokka yet nothing but a croak came out. Gritting his teeth as he ignored a new wave of pain, he squeezed Sokka's hand a couple of times.

Sokka rubbed his face against the covers of his bed before realizing what was happening, because he jumped on his chair and frantically looked around before his frantic gaze stopped on Zuko.

Something broke inside him when he locked eyes with Sokka, he looked so tired. Tired beyond what his young bones should be able to hold, with dark circles under his eyes and scratches all over his skin. Zuko knew he probably didn't look better himself but a part of him wished he hadn't woken up Sokka.

"Zuko," he sighed, "you're awake."

Everything in Zuko's body was sore and black dots were starting to blur his vision but yes, he was awake and clearly alive. He tried to talk but again, nothing came out; Sokka widened his eyes.

"Oh, right!" He hurried, then he grabbed a crutch Zuko hadn't realized was leaning against his bed and stood up. "Don't move, I'll be right back."

Even if he could, Zuko wouldn't even think about moving so he let himself follow Sokka with his eyes until he left the room, to then sigh and try to relax. He scanned his room, the red color scheme was untouched and the door to the balcony let a few rays of sunlight come in but nothing was burned and no furniture was out of place. It was the same as a couple of weeks ago, he imagined that Azula, or anyone really, would've just burned the place down.

Azula.

The rational part of Zuko's brain quickly supplied the fact that they must have won, given that he was resting in his room and Sokka was alive by his side.

As if he had been summoned, Sokka entered the room with the biggest glass of water his hand could hold and then sat in the chair again. Something was squeezed inside Zuko when the crutch Sokka leaned on the side of the chair this time, slid and fell to the ground. There was no other noise in the room, not even birds chirping or people training outside so when it touched the floor, it did with a loud bang, which made Zuko grimace and certainly didn't help his incoming headache.

Ignoring the crutch, Sokka leaned in and put the glass of water against Zuko's lips. His throat felt so much better after but when Sokka left the glass on the nightstand and simply stared at him, Zuko felt like he could drink the entire glass just to swallow down the knot in his throat.

For once, it seemed like he wasn't the only one speechless, Sokka's eyes were fixated on Zuko's but not a single word was leaving his mouth. The silence stretched on for miles and miles, not necessarily uncomfortable but it hurt to see Sokka like this, as if he had just lost someone he loved and wasn't even allowed to attend the funeral. It felt like hours, when it had actually been just minutes, when suddenly Sokka breathed in.

"I..." He started and then looked down at his hands on his lap, which were slightly shaking, "I thought you wouldn't wake up, Zuko, it's been two days."

What? He didn't have the time to ask because Sokka continued with a very strained voice.

"When we got here, Katara told me what happened and she said your body only needed to rest, but later she confessed that there was no real way to tell the damage the lighting had done," he seemed to choke on his words and then clenched his fists, the seconds turned endless. "I'm sorry."

Zuko's face fell blank, and then into an expression of pain. No, Sokka shouldn't be the one apologizing.

"Don't—"

"I'm so, so sorry, Zuko, I should've been there and I wasn't." Sokka tightly shut his eyes but a single tear still managed to escape, he roughly wiped it away before it could roll down his cheek.

"Sokka—"

"What the hell were you thinking?" Sokka yelled, his words echoing in the place. "Fight Azula in an Agni Kai? You could've died, Zuko, you could've died!"

"I'm sorry, okay?!" It hurt so much to scream but Zuko would gladly take if that meant Sokka would stop hurting.

"Don't apologize, you dumbass, you lived!"

That last scream seemed to tip over the glass, because Sokka leaned his elbows on the bed and buried his head between his hands as a sob shook his body. It tore Zuko apart, one of greatest fear was coming true: Sokka was in pain, was crying and there was nothing Zuko could do about it. The Water Tribe boy's shaky breathing suddenly became the only sound in the room.

But no, there had to be something Zuko could do. He knew he would immediately start crying if he talked so he did the only thing he could think of. He reached out and grabbed one of Sokka's hands in his and squeezed it as tightly as he could, another muffled sob shook Sokka's body.

"You don't seem to understand," he whispered. His breathing was way too fast and tears were still rapidly falling out of his eyes but after a few moments, he let air in and continued with trembling lips. "I care about you, Zuko. Way more than I would ever care about a friend."

Nothing else was necessary to understand, Zuko's eyes widened and his breath was caught on his throat. He could've swore his heart completely stopped in his chest, right then and there.

"Stay."

The word left Zuko's mouth without his permission, finally a fall he didn't need to think about before he jumped. Finally, a fall that instead of filling his veins with terror, released all the pressure inside his chest.

It was the truth, he realized and hiding it was pointless. All Zuko wanted was for Sokka to stay, to stay and to never leave again. He wanted Sokka to stay by his side, to stay in the palace, in the Fire Nation, in his life and Zuko didn't even want to think about what would be of him without the strong and cheerful presence by his side.

"Stay, Sokka." Wide blue eyes stared back at him in shock, his chest barely moving at all. Zuko's heart returned back to life when a wobbly smile spread across Sokka's face.

Sokka put his shaky free hand over Zuko's and leaned his forehead in them, the air inside of him coming out all at once; tears were rolling down his cheeks again but now he had a smile fighting them back. No matter how hard Zuko tried, he couldn't hold in a tear from escaping his eye as well and he didn't even try to fight back the faint smile that threatened to twist his lips. His next words to Sokka were said in a clear and fond voice, his heart jumped inside his chest when he heard Sokka's soft chuckle.

"And don't you ever dare to leave."


	6. Chapter 6

Everything around Zuko's entire life had been fast, too fast so when he realized he could take it slow with Sokka, he let out the biggest sigh of relief. Yes, now most of the day Zuko was busy, but when he found a moment to be with Sokka he felt as if he could finally stop running and take a look at the view he had longed for so long.

It had been a couple of months since Aang took away Ozai's bending and Zuko had declared the war over but nightmares still haunted him and duties were not far behind. He had been crowned Fire Lord, after all.

To say the Fire Nation was messed up was an understatement. There were hundreds of rules, laws and punishments his family had set and Zuko had made a promise to bring a new era of love and peace. If that meant he'd have to check every single tradition and decree, he would.

It was easier said than done obviously and clearly his body and mind weren't going to recover overnight from years of mistreatment. Sometimes Zuko tried to relax and meditate near the turtleduck pond but the chunk of laws on his new desk were screaming at the back of his mind, the dozens of meetings he had with ambassadors and the corresponding apologies flashing before his eyes. Azula's breakdown was engraved with fire on his eyelids and he saw it every time he tried to go to sleep.

Enter Sokka.

He made Zuko feel safe, made him feel like even if his responsibilities were crushing him, he could take it because he wasn't alone.

Somehow Sokka managed to convince Hakoda to let him stay in the Fire Nation, with the excuse he wasn't ready to go back yet, which was partially true. The truth was that he genuinely wanted to stand by Zuko's side, plus he didn't really know how to break down to his dad he was dating the Fire Lord. 

These couple months in, Zuko had managed to kick out most of Ozai's supporters from the Council and had replaced them with people he knew he could trust. He also put Sokka right on a chair on his left with the excuse that an outsider's point of view was always needed, and after all, Sokka was insanely smart.

But the reality was that Zuko just wanted him to be there and with bright eyes, Sokka immediately agreed. There were meetings that were way too long or people were too exasperating but Sokka was always there to tell a joke and make him smile and sometimes that was all his input in the meeting.

There were a few people that didn't like that, saying he was not useful in the Council or downright sticking to the old ways of the Fire Nation but Zuko paid them no mind and quickly replaced them. On the flip side, most people did like Sokka's presence.

The majority of them were servants and guards, because after Zuko proved he was nowhere near behaving like his father or his sister, by learning all of their names and worrying about them instead of intimidating them, they warmed up to him and realized that Fire Lord Zuko rarely smiled except when he was Sokka. So they let them be, Sokka had always been nice to them anyways.

There were some times Zuko had had one –or several– emotional breakdowns and he couldn't face his advisers, his guards or even the chefs. There were nights the pressure inside his chest returned and he wasn't able to do anything except trying to remember how to breathe and beg his heart to keep beating.

This was one of those nights, it marked three months since the end of the war and while not everyone seemed to be aware of it, it was everything Zuko could think about the entire day. He got informed in the morning Azula tried to escape, not for the first, the healing facility she was in and in the afternoon he was told there had been a small riot in the city against one of the laws he had changed.

Zuko was actually fine for the most part so he felt ashamed that such a small thing could trigger a breakdown. He was writing a venting letter to Uncle Iroh when a servant came around with his afternoon tea, she must have been new because she left the cup on the left side of his desk.

He simply miscalculated, it wasn't a big deal at all but when he reached out, he missed the cup and tipped it over.

Zuko didn't know what was happening but soon there was a huge knot on his throat and tears threatened to spill from his eyes. He dispatched the servant as fast as possible and buried his face in his shaky hands while trying to breathe, but failed miserably when a choked up sob escaped his mouth.

Tears only kept falling, and it could've been minutes or hours when he looked up at the sudden noise of the door of his room opening, Zuko quickly covered his face again. Sokka immediately dropped all the scrolls he was holding in his arms and rushed to Zuko, then knelt beside him and gently took his hands away from his face.

"Zuko, are you okay?" Despite how soft his voice was, Sokka's eyebrows furrowed with worry.

Zuko hurried to nod, despite it feeling like his brain hit the sides of his skull when moving.

"Then why are you crying?"

He suspected Sokka already knew, the way he always knew everything but wanted Zuko to say it, if he denied it again it meant he didn't want to talk about it. Zuko sniffled and then shrugged while looking at his pale hands between Sokka's.

"The same as always,” Zuko whispered.

Sokka slowly raised a hand and caressed the side of Zuko's head, who closed his eyes.

"I get it, I also felt a little bit down in the morning," Sokka's voice was so gentle it felt like a blanket falling on Zuko's shoulders.

They both knew it was more serious than 'a little down' but Sokka understood that Zuko didn't need a therapy session, at least not right now. He only needed to forget about the world for a few hours and Sokka's simple chatter was the best way to do that.

"You know what we can do to cheer you up?" 

Zuko opened his eyes and saw that Sokka had a tiny, fond smile on his face. If Zuko was honest, he wanted to sleep and get over this day as fast as possible but something in Sokka's eyes told him he had a better idea.

"It's already dark outside and it's been a while since we've taken a walk."

Zuko let out a surprise noise. It's true, they haven't walked in a while.

It was a weird tradition of theirs. It all started when the palace physician said the Sokka could take off the cast of his leg, but he still had to walk with the crutch. He, of course, didn't listen so one day, Zuko caught Sokka sprawled out on the grass of one of the gardens trying to go to the city, face red as he tried his best to hold in a scream.

Zuko had no other choice than to carry him back into his room but when Sokka was actually better and not trying to be reckless, they ended up taking walks throughout the city, as a way to destress for Zuko and physical therapy for Sokka.

It had been in one of these walks where Sokka had first taken his hand in public, his left hand, and they both had cloaks on and there was no way someone would recognize them but still, Zuko's heart almost couldn't take it. The panic must have been written in his face because at the moment, as soon as Sokka saw it, he quickly let go of his hand but Zuko, with enough blush on his face to make his scar unnoticed, took it back and held it tightly the rest of the way.

Later, when Sokka didn't really need his help to walk, Zuko stopped going to a few of their walks. It was one of those nights he had missed one of them and stayed past midnight in the library writing a speech for the next day when Sokka found him falling asleep on top of the paper. Then he had gently picked up Zuko, with his right arm around his waist to take him to his room. Zuko's mind must have been fogged with exhaustion because he just snuggled up against Sokka's shoulder and mumbled something along the lines of 'you look pretty without the ponytail'. Sokka didn't know if to be deeply offended or incredibly flattered but he smiled nevertheless and never reminded Zuko of it.

It has been in one of those walks Zuko gave him a written permission to get in and out of the palace and the Fire Nation whenever he wanted.

It had been in one of those walks Sokka when he, in a brief moment of bravery, first kissed Zuko on the cheek and almost made him pass out.

Those walks were very important to them and Zuko realized he truly missed them. So without a trace of hesitation, he let a wobbly smile take over his face.

"Yeah, I think we can take a walk."

Sokka's grin lit up up the entire room, then he squeezed Zuko's hand and helped him to get up.

⏳

They walked out of the palace with cloaks on and hands wrapped around each other's. 

Zuko breathed in the cold night air and let it enter his lungs as he tried to let go of the tension on his shoulders, their steps quickly taking the usual path. It was a small street at the back of the royal palace, a mostly residential area but after they walked for a few minutes, they arrived at the center of the street and saw small shops and stores starting to close. The light posts Zuko had installed all over the city were lighting up their way.

Soon after they reached a small plaza, with a big fountain in the middle and a few stone benches around, it didn't really have a lot of green and not a lot of people wandered around but that's exactly what they liked about it. It was a change of scenery against the perfect gardens of the palace and if Sokka fell and Zuko had to carry him back, no one would really see them. It was only them and the stars as witnesses.

They sat down in one of the benches, then Zuko leaned his head on Sokka's shoulder and sighed, it had been such a stressful day but now it almost looked insignificant compared to the feeling of complete security and warmth Sokka gave him.

Sokka seemed to notice Zukos still down mood, because he put his arm around his shoulder and talked in a soft voice as Zuko closed his eyes.

"I remembered when we first came here," Zuko huffed a laugh, embarrassment still not forgotten.

The light posts weren't around yet, the moment had been one of the reasons behind the idea actually, so everything around them had been dark. Too dark, apparently.

Only after Sokka hit his foot against one of the stone benches, Zuko thought about lighting up a flame on his hand. Their walk had to be postponed because Sokka was in such pain they had to return to the palace immediately, but the way things turned out was something they probably would never forget.

After they entered the palace, the physician made Sokka so high with sleeping herbs but he refused to go to sleep, constantly apologizing for ruining the night. Zuko believed nothing Sokka babbled made sense but when Zuko retold everything he said the next day, Sokka responded everything was true.

That since the moment he realized Zuko couldn't see with his left eye, he had had such a strong urge to protect him. Sokka believed he had suffered enough so worrying for something that could easily be fixed with him just staying by Zuko's side was too much, so he made a decision and didn't regret a single bit.

A fond smile spread across Zuko's face, he silently thanked the evil bench.

"Is that a smile?" Sokka started in a surprised and teasing voice. "Tui and La, is the Fire Lord smiling?"

Zuko let out a laugh and lightly slapped Sokka's thigh.

"Why are you hitting me?" He could hear the smile in Sokka's voice and had the urge to see it with his own eyes, he lifted his head and looked at Sokka's face, a toothy grin lighting it up. "It's very rude to hit people, you know? Even if I really like you, I'm not gonna stand this kind of treatment."

Sokka didn't seem to register what he just said but it was the fastest thing Zuko had ever processed and his brain shut down right after. 

He rationally knew it was more than obvious Sokka liked him, and he liked Sokka too, it's just none of them had ever said it out loud, as if the words weren't needed between them. Zuko now realized why, his heart was about to explode and thinking straight was very hard out of a sudden. Sokka's voice brought him back to reality, Zuko realized those beautiful blue eyes were really close.

"Zuko?"

A wild thought crossed his mind, the desire to push it back and bring it at the center of his mind collided in his head. Zuko had done it before with Mai, he shouldn't be worried but the thrill inside of him said that if he did it with Sokka, it might as well feel like the first time. Sokka's words slowed down but his eyes revealed his mind was running at miles per hour.

"Zuko?"

Three months ago, Zuko had found the joy in not thinking before he jumped and when it came to Sokka, he wouldn't even take a look at where he was, he'd only take his hand and follow him. Zuko sharply inhaled and pressed his lips against Sokka's.

It lasted no more than a second, but it felt as if fire lit up the inside of his veins and lightning flashed before his eyes, he couldn't remember how to breath or to think when he pulled away and stared at Sokka's shocked gaze.

His mouth was open and he didn't seem to remember how to breathe either, the surprise in his face beyond anything Zuko had ever seen. The time stretched on for hours and then slapped him in the face, panic slipped inside of him; then Sokka slowly blinked and suddenly breathed in. The expression on Zuko's face hadn't changed, an apology already running over his head.

He didn't get a chance to say it though, because Sokka grabbed his face between his hands and crashed his lips against Zuko's. 

Everything else seemed to disappear, the light and chilly air pushed back at the bottom of Zuko's mind, all was gone but the feeling of Sokka's lips against his. He wrapped his hands around Sokka's and let electricity run all over his body, let himself get lost and fall into everything that was the warmth of the body beside him.

He smiled against Sokka's lips, the thrill making his eyes light up in the dark. Zuko happily sighed but never let go of Sokka's hands. He'd easily give up all he owned if that meant he could continue kissing Sokka, and so he did, forgetting all of the things he had to do and finally doing the thing he wanted to do, only trusting the night sky to see it.

Zuko never thought he'd be here, for once in his life, feeling happy and safe, knowing someone cared deeply for him. Someone who was willing to wait for him for days and still receive him with open arms, even after all of the mistakes and falls throughout his life.

And that someone was not going to leave him, not even at his worst moments, that person was going to stay. He was going to stay here, in that annoying stone bench in the middle of an empty plaza; he was going to stay in the Fire Nation, at least a little while longer and most importantly, he was going to stay in his life, throughout his nightmares and dreams. Zuko knew Sokka was going to stay right by his side and honestly, he wouldn't have it any other way.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow, first off thank you so much for making it to the end! It may seem no more than an hour to you but this story is actually very important to me because this is the only work I've finished outside of my creative writing class.
> 
> TRIGGER WARNING: SUICIDE. Please, if you feel like this will trigger you, don't read it.
> 
> It was also very hard to finish and post this because my beta reader passed away a few days ago, she was in the middle of editing when she took her own life. I didn't know her personally, I actually met her in the comment section of an Instagram post with the Tumblr post that inspired this whole fic and even after only a few days of speaking, I felt like I've known her for my entire life.
> 
> She always encouraged me, cheered for me and without her I wouldn't have finished this. She was my number one fan and even though she didn't get to read this story, I hope she has the peace to read it wherever she is now. Hope she knows I wrote her a happy ending.
> 
> If you made it here, thank you again and hope you enjoyed my fic ❤️.


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